Death Watch Journal (part 24)

It's been a full year now since my death warrant was signed, scheduling my execution for February 11, 2016. Against the odds, I'm still alive although my longterm fate remains uncertain. I was the 23rd death warrant signed by Governor Scott and the 22 before me were all executed...I am the first one to survive a death warrant under Governor Scott.

Being that I loosely subscribe to Christian values, although I make no secret for my contempt of the hypocrisy of contemporary organized religion and the way it has corrupted the fundamental values of true Christianity by promoting hate and intolerance in the name of God.

At times I wonder how deeply I might scar my own spiritual consciousness when I find myself praying that those who so quickly judge me be then judged by that same measure...could I be wrong when I do that? Or is that what true justice is all about?

It's been a difficult year and I've been incredibly blessed by my small group of loyal friends who have gone above and beyond the call of duty to keep my hope and strenght up. When I find myself wondering what true grace is, I find my answer in them and I certainly don't deserve to be blessed with that depth of genuine compassion they o generously extend. And I know only too well that they are my strength, that without that selfless support they've given, i would not have had the strenght to make it through the past year.

When I look back over the past year, what i realize is that this prolonged uncertainty of my fate has not only touched me deeply, but it has inflicted immeasurable pain upon those that care so deeply about me. I can see it in the faces of my family when they visit as they anxiously ask me for the latest updates and I can read it inthe letters of my closest friends as they try so hard to avoid that proverbial "elephant in the room", putting so much of themselves into trying to keep me positive and keep that hope alive, and yet I can feel pain, and that uncertainty that we all try to ignore.

But then there's the hope - and good reason for hope too. While in the larger context the death penalty in general seems to become less popular, here in Florida there's good reason to believe that it is on it's last leg and that any day now the Florida Supreme Court will effectively vacate the majority of the death sentences. (Note: After Mike wrote this blog post the Florida Supreme Court ruled, read it here: the Florida Supreme Court decision of December 22, 2016

and more info here )

 

As I write this blog, I feel confident that within the coming weeks my own death sentence will be thrown out. But at the same time, I cannot shake the reality that I am still under an active death warrant, and I am still next in line for execution. I'm caught between those two extremes and the prolonged uncertainty is itself a heavy weight that makes hope difficult.

I can't help but wonder whether many over there in society even give a moments thought to this punishment they've inflicted. I'd like to think that as a whole, we are a "civilized" society - that most people are "good" in nature even if all of us are still imperfect creatures.

But I'm troubled by the complete absence of debate specifically on how long any indvidual should remain under an active death warrant and be forced to endure that ever present threat of being put to death, I know only too well that there will be those relatively few who will not hesitate to say I alone am responsible - and if I have a problem with remaining under an active death warrant so long that all I need to do is waive my appeals and they'll gladly kill me tomorrow...and these are the same people who want to call the condemned "evil".

But what about the majority of others? Do they even give it a moments thought at all? Here in America we are a constitutional democracy and as such government power is limited to that which the majority allows. Maybe this is what they meant when someone once said "ignorance is bliss" as I don't think the majority even give it any thought - out of sight, out of mind". I'd like to think that I do try to keep up with the greater public debate on the death penalty but I cannot recall ever hearing any debate on just how long any person should remain under an active death warrant facing that imminent fear of death before it crosses that moral line and amounts to torture.

And then there is - that one word...torture. Funny thing about the way we too often define what is, or is not, "torture" is that it comes down to our own perspective. And if we as an individual or collective society are the ones imposing a particular punishment upon someone we feel is worthy of nothing less, then we conveniently insulate ourselves with that whole "the end justifies the means" mentality. My punishment is death and if keeping me under an active death warrant facing that imminent threat of death for a year, or even longer, is what it takes to inflict that punishment on me or any other, then it cannot possibly amount up to "torture" as its obviously necessary to accomplish that objective of inflicting death.

Not long ago I read a book called "Imagine Heaven" by John Burke and it has got me thinking a lot about these things. In this book it provided the accounts of many people who had "near death experiences" and found themselves peeking into the other side - a glimmer into Heaven, or for some, a reality check in hell. But what impressed me the most was that without exception, each person came away with the same truth...that what effects our spiritual conciousness the most is not so much the sins we've committed, but how our actions have impacted others.

                                                             

The pain we inflict upon others inevidibly becomes our own eternal pain. There are many who, without even knowing anything about the facts of my case (that evidence is readily available to substantiate my consistently pled claim of innocence, but the courts refuse to allow it to be fully heard on procedural grounds - please see. http://www.southerninjustice.net/ ) are only too ready to advocate any measure of pain they can inflict upon me. That is who they are. But there will always be those few who have only hate in their hearts.

I'd like to think that most would not condone a system that would keep any person under an active death warrant for over a year. Id like to think that the absence of opposition is the product of unawareness. I'd like to think that as a society, individually and collectively, we are better than that. But are we? I am still under an active death warrant.

Letter from Death Watch (part 8)

Another week already gone, and as I write this today there’s less than two weeks to go before my scheduled execution. It’s been a relatively quiet week and I smiled when the thought of “the calm before the storm” comes to mind, as I know that as we move into that final stretch it will pick up.

On Thursday they will elevate me to the next phase. Since my death warrant was signed on November 30, I’ve been on “phase II” but per protocol once I reach that last seven days prior to execution; things change. Right now I’m allowed to keep all my property in my cell and it’s not much different that regular death row confinement beyond the fact that the death watch cell is significantly larger.

Once I graduate to the next phase (phase I) they will remove all my property from my cell and post an officer just outside my cell 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He will have a forest green “death watch log” and record my every movement. This is similar to “suicide watch” and its sole purpose is to make sure that the condemned prisoner doesn’t deprive the state out of its intended execution by committing suicide. Once I graduate to the next stage even my lawyers will no longer be allowed regular visits in the death watch interview room, but will only be allowed to see me in the non-contact visitation area through glass. This ensures that even the lawyers cannot pass anything to the condemned prisoner.

It’s all about the methodical process designed to force the condemned to become a willing participant in his or her murder. I know from their perspective, this process is meticulously tuned to ensure that the intended execution goes by the book without unexpected interruption

But more so than anything else, what bothers me the most about this whole process is just how incredibly cold and calculated it is, as if those responsible have completely forgotten that they are taking a human life. It really is nothing less than the “machinery of death.” And I really do have to wonder just how much of their own humanity those responsible for carrying out this act of taking a human life must abandon as nothing about this process is “normal.”

Maybe that’s exactly the point… maybe they need this process themselves so that they can detach from the reality that they are killing a fellow human being. Maybe by becoming so fixated on each minute detail, it provides them that luxury of pushing aside the reality that they are killing another person.

                                                     

I suppose if that’s true, then it helps that most of those who are assigned to assist in this execution ritual have done it many times. One officer recently told me that he’s been down here for at least the last 25 executions. At some point, it probably gets easier. At some point they probably don’t even lose any sleep over it… it’s just a job. And that’s kind of scary.

At least I accomplished one small thing this week. In January this year when they killed Oscar Bolin as I was forced to remain in my death watch cell only feet away, I found out that they would not allow communion on the day of execution. Most Americans claim to be Christian and would find it offensive that a condemned prisoner would be denied communion when having his last spiritual visit.

When I realized that this was the case, I asked several people responsible for this process why they would not allow the condemned prisoner to take communion ~ which is unquestionably one of the fundamental tenets of any Christian faith. And other than allowing communion interfered with their last day protocol, nobody could give me an answer as to why. Apparently, nobody had ever questioned this before.

Unable to get any explanation at institutional level, I then brought this to the attention of my lawyers. Just by coincidence, my top lawyer Neil Dupree ( head of CCRC) was in Tallahassee to participate in budget conferences and in the same room as the FDOC Secretary Julie Jones.

As I understand it, Mr. Dupree took a moment to talk to Julie Jones and simply asked her why it was that condemned prisoners were not allowed to receive communion on execution day and apparently Ms. jones did not even know that this was not allowed and assured Mr. Dupree that she would look into it immediately.

Early the next morning the prisons Assistant Warden came down to death watch and discussed this issue with me, in a polite and respectful manner. Just that easily, the issue was resolved ~ I would be allowed to receive communion from the Catholic priest on the day of my scheduled execution. But I wonder whether those who face execution in the future will think to inquire as apparently I was the first to simply ask.

This past week I was kept busy by the lawyers as the various appeals were submitted to the courts. Since the Hurst v Florida decision was handed down from the U.S. Supreme Court on January 12 declaring Florida’s death penalty statute unconstitutional, many of the top lawyers have joined my legal team as now my own case will decide whether that court decision applies to everyone on death row, or maybe to no one  at all. Oral arguments before the Florida Supreme Court will be interesting. (If you missed these oral arguments you can pull them up at any time at http://www.wfsu.org/gavel2gavel/viewcase.php?eid=2314)

With all the attention of this Hurst v Florida issue, I’m increasingly worried that the lawyers are not pursuing my numerous other issues as aggressively. For one thing, I just don’t have any confidence that the Florida Supreme Court will rule favorably on this Hurst case. Of the seven justices on that court, most are former death penalty prosecutors themselves (they each are politically hand picked, so that’s not just a coincidence) and not even one of them opposes the death penalty. And this court has already sent at least 30 men to their execution since 2002 when the US Supreme Court first ruled this process was wrong. I just don’t see that court suddenly willing to do the right thing. What’s important to me is my long and consistently pled claim of innocence and that it continues to be argued before the Florida Supreme Court and in the Federal Courts. But with this attention on this Hurst issue, my claims that argue my innocence are being neglected and I’m not happy about that ~ and there’s not a damned thing I can do about that either.

Some time this next week the lawyers will file my appeal on the innocence claims in the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals. I also expect nothing from that court as my case was assigned to the three most extremely pro death penalty judges (Carnes, Hull, and Tjoulat), so the most I can hope for is that once those judges rubber stamp that federal denied (as they do all death row appeals) then we can try to get the US Supreme Court to grant review.

But the clock continues to count down and each day I’m that much closer to my death. It’s still a matter of days, but soon it will be a matter of hours.

Note: Michael Lambrix was granted an indefinite stay of execution on February 2, 2016.He has now been moved to a regular death row cell at Florida State Prison, while still being under warrant.

Anyone wanting to send a card or letter to Mike, please write to:

Michael Lambrix #482053
Florida State Prison G1204
7819 NW 228th street
Raiford Florida 32026-1100

Why We Slaughter Turkeys, and Other People Too

Most of us blissfully assume that animals don't have a soul and so there's no real debate on whether animals, such as the over 240 million turkeys that were put to
death this past month just to satisfy our appetite for that quintessential American holiday ritual known as the Thanksgiving feast, all went to Heaven or hell - I doubt anyone gave it too much thought at all as it was just a turkey, so who really cares?

But what if it was the family dog? Or how about our beloved cat? Many would then argue that there must be a special place in the afterlife for our furry friends that were so much part of our life that we considered them to be part of our family. Many will pay incredible amounts of money to even have their beloved pet cremated or buried and will argue without reservation that their Fiddo or Fluffy certainly did have a soul. It's all about our own emotional connection to that particular animal, and that's the sort of connection we just don't make with an anonymous turkey conveniently purchased at the local supermarket, already plucked and gutted and ready to throw into the oven and cooked until the moist flesh is ready to melt in our mouths.

Amidst all this holiday pageantry there's that other now traditional ritual each Thanksgiving in which both state governors and the President of the United States publically pardons a turkey, sparing it the fate of the butcher and rather than be condemned to be devoured at Thanksgiving, this one lucky bird will instead be sent to live the rest of its life on a farm. I watch this ritual every year and always wondered how it was that they picked that one particular bird from the hundreds of millions of others that faced all but certain deaths.

Did a farmer go out to the barn and just snatch up the first turkey he got his hands on and ship it to the president and that was it? What stroke of faith spared this one otherwise undistinguishable bird from the millions of others and made it somehow worthy of this act of grace? Perhaps there was more to the story....maybe unknown to us there was a top secret commission tucked away in the basement of the White House, serving at the discretion of President Obama, and it was their solemn task to search across the vast North American continent from coast to coast for verifiable stories of remarkable acts of extraordinary valor by otherwise unknown turkeys such as that unheard story about the young child that fell into the farm pond and would have surely died if not for that one turkey that raised all sorts of ruckus until the farmer realized that something was horribly wrong and followed the turkey back to that pond, arriving just in time to save his only son. Certainly that turkey would deserve a pardon.

Or perhaps, unbeknownst to all but that top secret commission deep down in the bowels of the White House, all turkeys are inherently evil and it is our moral obligation to slaughter them and feast off their flesh just as other cultures did with their enemies, such as the Mayas who conquered their neighboring tribes and then sacrificed their prisoners to their gods, eating their flesh just as we do the turkeys. Maybe these millions of turkeys were planning to overthrow the human race and this plot would have succeeded, if not for that one heroic turkey that risked life and limb to rat out the rest of the flock. By turning snitch, he earned immunity and this whole presidential pardon ritual is nothing more than yet another governmental conspiracy to perpetuate an image for the masses of sheep (i.e., average Americans) to blindly believe, allowing them to feel morally justified when they gather around that table and feed off that turkey flesh. 

Maybe Tom the turkey is actually part of the Taliban and this American thanksgiving ritual is an extension of this never-ending "war on terror" coordinated behind the scenes by Homeland Security. No, that can't be - this turkey slaughter began long before our beloved CIA created what we now call the Taliban. Oh - I know, it's got to be a communist plot, as we all know turkeys do live in what could be described as quasi-Siberian gulags and this certainly wouldn't be the first time that a former prisoner organized his other brethren to rise above their shackles and chains and overthrow society.

Now that i think about it, I do recall watching a program about poultry farms and how these seemingly innocent turkeys would gather in little groups they call "flocks" and can be heard clucking and gobbling amongst themselves in a language unknown to us. If that isn't proof enough that they must be plotting  against us, then think about this for a moment...why are all these turkeys white?
Myself, I'm a white guy and I must admit that I've been white my whole life. And so I know what happens when you get that many white guys in a group as it's our inherent nature to inevitably plot to take over the world and if we can do it then why not these hundreds of millions of nothing but white turkeys, raised on farms throughout the land by white rednecks?

Which brings us to the "people" equation in all of this. Now, I guess when it comes down to it I can't really swear under oath that I actually seen what I thought I saw when that big white turkey stood on that table as our even bigger black president proudly granted it a pardon, as his daughters looked on, but I want to say that I'm pretty sure that as the camera momentarily focused on the turkey I might have seen it ruffle its feathers and sort of wink, as if looking straight into my soul and sending me that message, telepathically laughing at me as unlike that turkey, we all knew I have no chance at being granted a pardon. And even that turkey knew that if it was a person, it wouldn't have any hope for a pardon, either.

The truth of the matter is just this simple - millions of turkeys must die to feed our appetite each Thanksgiving and this whole ritual we go through to get there is necessary as it just wouldn't be the same without the ritual ....and we got to kill a few people too as that's the American way.

No, these hundreds of millions of turkeys were not plotting to take over the world and those few turkeys that were granted pardons didn't perform any heroic acts to deserve that act of grace. But I'd like to think that these turkeys, and all living creatures, do have a soul as if they do perhaps there's still hope for humanity too.

As these turkeys were led away to their mass slaughter and this machinery of death brought about their demise, delivering their frozen flesh to the local supermarket so that the average American family could feast from their flesh, then discard their picked bones into the trash  without so much as another thought, I'd like to think that the soul of each of those turkeys rose above the horror inflicted upon their bodies and they now look down upon us without malice or the need for vengeance, but rather they bow their beaks in a silent moment of unified prayer that one day humanity will evolve beyond its need to kill. And maybe if enough turkeys pray for humanity, maybe one day we too will evolve into a species that is no longer driven by that need to kill and this ritual of death we so desire will be a page of past history.

But I doubt I'll be around to see it, as like all those turkeys, my days are now numbered and the state of Florida is already in the process of carrying out its own ritual of death. With what might be my last appeals exhausted, I'm now going through the "clemency" process, knowing only too well that at least here in Florida nobody has been granted clemency in over 30 years. Once they go through the pretense of clemency review, then my death warrant will be signed and my execution scheduled, and I proceed forward knowing that nobody has survived a death warrant in Florida in many year.

And most likely before the next turkey is again granted a pardon, I will be led into Florida's own slaughter house and laid out before those that gather to watch this ritual, metaphorically gathered to feed off my flesh. While convincing themselves that my death is morally justified, and some will even celebrate the successful execution, others will be hurt deeply by my passing. But in the end, society will not pass any longer at that moment of my death as they did at any other state-sanctioned killing. It is a necessary ritual and at the end of the day for the same reason we slaughter hundreds of millions of turkeys to feed off their flesh and appease our appetite, so too do we kill people by only too similar rituals and yet no matter how many might die, our appetite is never satisfied.

Michael Lambrix  #482053
Union Correctional Institution
7819 NW 228th street
Raiford, Florida 32026

Please sign Michael's Petition HERE
https://www.change.org/p/governor-rick-scott-please-spare-michael-lambrix-s-life

Has it really been that long?

As I sit here writing this, today marks the day exactly 25 years ago when the state of Florida did all they could to kill me. It was on this day that I awoke in that solitary cell only a few steps away from that cold gray solid steel door that led into the execution chamber where Florida’s infamous electric chair awaited. Has it really been that long ago? It doesn’t seem that so many years have already passed. As I’ve always heard it, time passes quickly when you’re having fun, but I damned sure haven’t had a lot of fun over these many years.

When I look around me, not much has really changed. I still awake each day in a solitary cell not all that different from the one in which I waited to die, and I’m still awaiting the uncertainty of my faith, knowing only too well that on any day now the governor could get a wild hair up his spineless ass and sign a new death warrant on me and so many others, especially since our names are on the recently submitted “death warrant eligible” list.

But perhaps the one thing that has changed is that I don’t really care whether they do or not. Somewhere along this never ending journey that I’ve been on, any “fear” of them coming to kill me has long ago faded away. As the years passed, I’ve even awoken more than too many days all but praying to whatever God it was that long ago abandoned me and the countless other lost souls warehoused around me, and “prayed” that the nightmare would end, even if that meant ending it by my death.

You have to love that paradox – them that so zealously imposed death upon me, all but foaming at their mouths like rabid dogs, truly believed that I was supposed to be somehow afraid to die, maybe even drop down to my knees and beg for mercy knowing all too well that them, consumed by vengeance  are incapable of mercy. But in all thee years, not even once have I ever begged, and f they came to take me away tomorrow, I know I still wouldn’t beg and that the joke would be on them as I have long ago came to accept that if I cannot win my physical freedom through the politically corrupted courts (see www.southerninjustice.net ), then spiritual freedom from this hell that only man could create through physical death, would still be freedom.

Today I take a few minutes to look back on that long day and endless night when at 28 years old, I confronted my fate (you can read about my brush with death in my essays “The Day God Died” and also "Facing my own Execution" ) and thought was lucky to survive, only to learn that there truly are fates far worse than physical death – and that the quarter of a century that would follow that date with death would teach me only too well that had I known what I know today – that I would slowly rot away one day at a time and grow old and gray in a cold crypt of steel and stone, separated from and inevitably abandoned by all who once cared for me, I know without any doubt or a momentarily reservation that I would had made those cold blooded bastards kill me that day and spared myself the next 25 years.

But then again, even if I say those words, there’s that bigger part of me that, despite the circumstances, remains forever hopeful that the day will come when the corrupt courts will finally do the right thing and rule in my favor and after the long 30 years, I will find myself back out there in the real world, and allowed to live what’s left of my life as a free man.

Who knows what tomorrow might bring? But it’s the hope and dreams that keep all of us going. Sure, objectively speaking, anyone would agree that my life sucks. But no matter how bad it might get, there are countless others that are far worse. Although the negativity of my situation does drag me down at times, especially when I’m foolish enough to contemplate the circumstances. I also must remind myself that I am far more blessed than most of them I live among. Too many here in my world truly have been completely abandoned by all and as the years pass they retreat further and further into that dark shadow of their own minds, until one day all that remains is the flesh, as the mind and soul have slowly eroded away.

So, as I “celebrate” my 25^th anniversary of a continued life despite their never-ending attempts to end it, I realize that I do have a measure of freedom far greater than that many in the real world out there don’t have – I am free to choose how I want to deal with my fate. No matter what evil the cold blooded society might inflict on me, I alone am the gatekeeper, deciding for myself whether I will allow this solitary journey to eat away at who I am until all that remains is anger and hopelessness – or I can choose to laugh in the face of death and embrace this unique growth experience as it comes. And today, in this moment I do laugh and if they come to kill me tomorrow, I will laugh again. And as long as I can still laugh in the face of death, I know that I alone remain the master of my own life and nothing they can do will break me, as if the past 25 years has taught me anything, it is the measure of strength within myself, and I am stronger than they can ever hope to be, knowing that what does not kill me can only make me stronger and that at the end of the day the only absolute reality is death and nobody gets out alive.

Michael Lambrix

Did Florida execute yet another innocent man?

Once again, the state of Florida deliberately put a man to death by execution despite an unresolved claim of innocence. As has only become too common, the Florida courts simply refused to address the evidence supporting the claim that Robert Waterhouse was innocent before they too his life for a crime that Waterhouse may very well have been innocent off.

In January 1980 the nude body of Deborah Kammerer was found on the shore of Tampa Bay. It was obvious she died a violent death. But there was no eyewitness to the crime and nothing more than circumstantial evidence that perhaps she was in a bar the night before at the same time that Robert Waterhouse was there. The bartender claimed that Waterhouse talked to the victim and that they left the bar together. The policed immediately focused their investigation then on Waterhouse. He was taken into custody but never confessed to killing Deborah Kemmerer, only that he casually knew her from the bar. Police claimed that Waterhouse volunteered that he had experienced problems involving sexual activity, especially when drinking, and that he responded to his arrest by exclaiming that his life was over.

The police impounded Waterhouse’s car and claimed that a Liminol test revealed the presence of blood. The state got their expert to testify at trial that although they could not actually say that this blood was from the victim, it was generally consistent with the victim’s blood – and countless others. Several hairs were also found in Waterhouse’s vehicle and again the state produced an expert who told the jury although they could not prove it was the victims hair, it was consistent with her hair – and again, equally consistent with millions of other unknown people.

When Waterhouse was arrested in 1980 forensic DNA testing of blood and hair was not yet available. Such testing would have conclusively proven whether or not that blood and hair came from the victim. Years later when DNA became available and Florida adopted laws for allowing for DNA testing on earlier cases, Waterhouse was among the first who all but beat the courthouse doors down, demanding that this blood and hair be tested. Of course, the state of Florida fought tooth and nail to prevent this testing. Undoubtedly afraid that these DNA tests would prove that Waterhouse actually was innocent, the state lawyers advised the court that virtually all of that forensic evidence was “accidentally destroyed” due to a clerical error, even though applicable Florida law forbids the destruction of evidence in any capital case until the case becomes final and no further appeals can be pursued.

In May 2004 sixth Judicial Circuit Court judge R. Timothy Peters ordered a hearing on the state’s dubious claim that by coincidence virtually all of the forensic evidence that could have proven Waterhouse's innocent was destroyed. In this order Judge Peters specifically recognized that Waterhouse’s motion to compel DNA testing, which legally required a showing of innocence, was legally sufficient. But shortly following Judge Peter’s order for a hearing, the state prosecutor attempted to have Judge Peters removed and the hearing presided over by Judge Beach – the judge who had originally convicted and condemned Robert Waterhouse.

When judge Peters refused to step aside, the prosecutor filed an appeal to the Florida Supreme Court, asking that they stop Judge Peters from allowing any hearing on how and why all the evidence was destroyed, but the Florida Supreme court refused to stop the hearing. Although judge Peters was allowed to preside over the hearing, it was actually judge Beach who ultimately denied Waterhouse Waterhouse's appeal that that the destruction of the evidence violated his constitutional rights to a fair and meaningful opportunity to prove his innocence. In an unpublished order in October 2006 the Florida Supreme Court upheld the order rendered by Judge Beach. Why the Florida Supreme Court specifically ordered that its opinion denying his innocence claim not to be published, as all other decisions in capital cases are, remains a mystery – and the court will not explain its reasoning.

On January 4, 2012 Florida governor Rick Scott signed a death warrant against Waterhouse, scheduling his execution for February 16, 2012. Pursuant to Florida Rules of Criminal Procedures, only after a death warrant was signed were Waterhouse’s lawyers allowed to gain access to police and state agency files on the case. An ambiguity in one of the police reports compelled the lawyers to locate and talk to Leglio Sotolongo, who in the night of the crime worked as a doorman at the bar. To their surprise, Mr. Sotolongo remembered Robert Waterhouse and the events that took place that night of January 2, 1980, and he told them that he had told the police detective Cary Hitchcock that Waterhouse did not leave the bar that night with the victim Deborah Kammerer but rather had left with two men. Further, Mr. Sotolongo remembered that he also told detective Cary Hitchcock that the bartender Kyoe Ginn, who said she saw Waterhouse leave the bar with Deborah Kammerer was lying, as it would have been impossible for the bartender to actually see the door from where she was.

Under sworn oath, Mr. Sotolongo testified that rather than being interested in the truth, detective Hitchcock became angry and accused him and another bouncer (Leon Vasquez) of trying to help a murderer, even to the point of physical altercation in an attempt to coerce Mr. Sotolongo and Mr. Vasquez from telling that they had seen Waterhouse leave with two men and not the victim.

For over 30 years the police deliberately concealed this evidence and lied in police reports. When finally discovered that detective Hitchcock – who’s testimony was used to convict and condemn Waterhouse – had concealed Mr. Sotolongo’s statement and falsified police reports , the original trial concluded that since Mr. Sotolongo was not compelled to actively testify until over 30 years later, he was not a credible witness.

In a final appeal, Waterhouse’s lawyers attempted to stop the execution by arguing that execution of an inmate should be prohibited when the prisoner has maintained his innocence and it is shown that the state has destroyed evidence that may have proven his innocence. But once again, in a unanimous decision by the Florida Supreme Court, dated February 8, 2012, the court denied Waterhouse claims, denied relief and cleared the way for his execution.

Once again I am reminded of the public speech given by former Florida Supreme Court chief Justice Gerald Kogan shortly after his retirement in which he said” There is no question in my mind, and I can tell you this from having seen the dynamics of our criminal justice system over the years that I have been associated with it, as a prosecutor, defense attorney, trial judge, and Supreme Court Justice, that convinces me that we certainly have executed people who were, in fact, not guilty of the crime for which they have been executed”

America today remains the only western nation in the world that continues to use capital punishment, joining company with countries that America itself has long recognized as refusing to recognize basic human rights (Iran, North Korea, and China etc). With an average of well over 20,000 homicides occurring in America each year, and the vast majority of these convicted of murder having solid evidence of their guilt (such as eyewitnesses, forensic evidence, confessions etc) I ask you this – why is it that we see again and again those being put to death were convicted upon, what can fairly be described as, specious evidence, at best? Why is it that so many of those actually have substantial questions of actual innocence and evidence supporting their innocence, which the courts simply refuse to address and resolve? Shouldn’t there be a strict and inflexible rule of law that no person should be put to death if there is any question of whether they may be innocent? But contemporary, politically manipulated judicial systems have proven again and again that it lacks the moral character and ethical integrity required to protect the innocent from being executed.

Maybe everyone who claims to be innocent is not innocent, but without adequate safeguards to protect against the execution of the innocent by prohibiting the state from putting any person to death unless and until all questions of innocence are fully and fairly resolved, how can anyone say with any measure of moral certainty that we are not putting innocent people to death?

Michael Lambrix
#482053
Florida State Prison

Please check out my website http://www.southerninjustice.net

Love Wins – Even on Death Row

Recently a friend of mine sent me a very nice gift – a book by Rob Bell entitled “Love wins: a book about heaven, hell and the fate of every person who ever lived” (Thank you Jan!) Having known me for about 20 years, Jan knows that I enjoy books that are thought provoking. Especially if the subject matter is spiritual. In fact, I initially brought this particular book to his attention after reading a book review in the USA Today newspaper a few months back, but I couldn’t exactly run down to the local bookstore myself, so fortunately Jan knows that it is relatively easy to send books to death row prisoners as all he had to do was order it on Amazon.com and have it shipped directly to me.

This isn’t the first book I received from a friend as I am blessed to have several friends who sent me books recently. But I am writing about this particular book because of the message it provides, one that I have reached myself long ago – that our spiritual evolution is about embracing love, not condemning all of us to hell. Like many others I find the concept of being condemned to hell and subjected to eternal torture to be in conflict with what I believe God really is. If God truly loves even me, then why would he want to beat me over the head until I submit to what some self-righteous and self appointed representative of God tells me a true Christian is?

Many years ago I got to know one of the volunteers that regularly visit death row from churches. They come to save our soul, bless their hearts. Most of these men do so at their own expense and spend many hours each week going from cell to cell, reaching out to the condemned and showing a measure of compassion that reflects a true Christian spirit, and I enjoy the few moments I am able to share with them.

This one volunteer (“Carl”) told me something that has stayed with me since – at the time, I was facing a death warrant (formally scheduling execution) and upon learning of this, Carl came to my cell to see how I was holding up. I was alright, but we go to talk and he commented on how I was actually lucky to be facing then imminent execution, as most people do not really know when they will die and often die suddenly without any opportunity to get their heart right with God.

Anyone who really knows me knows that I’m never at a loss for words, but at that moment, I didn’t really know what to say. The implication was that those unfortunate enough to die without the opportunity to get their heart right with God would be condemned to hell for all eternity, no matter how good of a person they might have been, while at the same time a presumably “cold blooded killer” who by virtue of his condemnation and imminent execution would go straight to heaven because he had the chance to get his heart right with God.

Myself, I don’t buy that argument and it really makes no sense. But I’m not articulate enough to explain why this whole concept of condemning the righteous to eternal damnation while rewarding the worst of sinners with eternal heaven makes no sense and so I thoroughly enjoyed reading Rob Bell’s book “Love wins” as it explains beautifully what I have come to believe – that the whole concept of condemning anyone to hell for all of eternity is nothing but a fabrication by those “Christians” who want to use fear and intimidation to coerce others to believe only what they say the nature of God is.

Everybody has the fundamental right to believe what they want and for the most part, each if us find God in our own way. I prefer to believe in a God that embraces love, mercy and compassion towards all men, even the worst of sinners, as by believing God of that nature too I can hope that men will evolve to reflect that nature too. I’m certainly not perfect – but knowing that I’m not getting beaten over the head every time I do slip is comforting.

If in the end I am put to death for a crime I did not commit (please check with www.southerninjustice.com ) then it will be because of the imperfection of a judicial process corrupted by men. But for now, as I remain entombed in a man made hell few could begin to imagine, my real struggle is to rise above the anger and bitterness that tries to consume me. In reading books like “Love wins” it gives me that strength by reassuring me that in the end, it will be love – and not hate – that wins. That’s a concept I can embrace.


Mike Lambrix

Hello From Death Row

Hello to my faithful friends and those who follow my blog. From time to time I just want all of you to know that it really means a lot to me to know that all of you keep me in your thoughts and send positive support my way. No matter how hard my seemingly never ending struggle for justice and freedom may seem at times, knowing that I'm not alone gives me strenght and support. I need to make it through another day - and then one day at a time after that.

Recently I've had to struggle with the question "why?" as things have been especially difficult the past few months. Some of you sent me cards after reading my previously posted blog "The paradox of Hope" and each one touched me in a very special way. Its times like that I do realize just how truly blessed i am as there is no greater treasure in Heaven or earth then that of the compassion and love of a faithful friend.

Being condemned for a crime I did not commit is itself a virtual hell few could even begin to imagine. Each day I awake to a never-ending nightmare, the reality of my circumstances so tangible that its the first thing that I'm aware of each morning. Sometimes it is all I can do to just lay there on my steel bunk and stare at the ceiling until I find the strength to rise up and begin my day. Sometimes I really don't want to get up at all.

In my recent blog I spoke of how elusive hope can become when one thing after another comes along to pound me down into the ground. When it comes down to it, I'm only human and it is only human that i will have moments, even hours and days, when I am overwhelmed and find myself asking why I bother to fight anymore when I cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore. The truth is that the struggle does become more difficult each time the judicial rug gets pulled out from beneath me by a politically corrupt judicial system.

But often it is at these darkest moments that a "light" shines down upon me, renewing my strength in the most unexpected ways. Maybe the truth is that we need to reach rock bottom to keep things in context and realize that there is still something worth fighting for. Maybe this is an inherent gift we all share as I'm certainly not the only one who struggles with hopelessness and despair when our lives seem to become a prison of its own making. Spend too much time basking in the light and the light itself becomes irrelevant. It's only too easy to take everything we have for granted without even realizing that we are doing so. When it comes down to it, from the moment we are born we are all condemned to die. I've clung so desperately to this thing we call "life", yet in the end, nobody comes out alive.

So, if its not about the beginning and in the end our fate is inevitably sealed, then it has to be about the journey between that matters. I used to say that "life itself is the mortal condemnation of an eternal soul" and I still believe that. Although i struggle with the contemporary definition of "God", I remain convinced that God must exist - just not the Supreme being many use to exploit and coerce fear into others for fullfillment of their own self serving agenda. The truth is that I've grown to hold in contempt this contemporary "Christianity" that only too quickly embraces God to justify their own hate and intolerance. I cannot believe in a God that could be so malicious and petty.

All of this is relevant to the restoration of the strength necessary to sustain my hope and through that the strength to fight the fight. Its like I have been thrown down into a dark abyss and I must struggle to climb up the slippery slopes of my prison if there is any hope of surviving. At times I will slip and fall backwards, descending into the darkness of the abyss that imprisons me. But it is at these times that I realize that I'm not alone - that there are those faithful friends willing to catch me when I fall.

For that, I'm grateful beyond any words can say. In my recent struggle, I was reminded just how fortunate I am - and how much my own struggles effect those who truly do care about me. So thank you to those of you who send me cards and letters with words of encouragement and for caring enough to catch me when I fall.

Now I am climbing the walls upwards again. I do not have much faith left in our corrupt judicial system - but I do have faith in my true friends and its because of their genuine concern that I find that strenght and will to renew my never-ending battle for justice.

The truth is that with both the State and Federal courts now denying reviews of the virtual wealth of evidence substantiating my innocence, there is not much left to go on. I am already pursuing a new state appeal that is based upon the discovery of deliberately concealed state crime lab records that show that the alleged "murder weapon" introduced as evidence at my trial was deliberately fabricated by the key witness and the state attorneys office.

Unable to find any lawyer willing to assist me, I recently filed my own legal action to the United States Supreme Court, asking that they exercise jurisdiction under "exceptional circumstances" to review the evidence substantiating my innocence.

But in what is only too common in the American courts, after I sent this 46 pages habeas petition to the US Supreme Court on January 24, 2011 about a week later the clerk of the court sent it back to me, refusing to formally file this innocence appeal because of a technical imperfection. Once again the incidious true nature of the American judicial system exposes itself - its not about truth and justice, but the politics of death, and irrelevant technical imperfections are exploited as a means of denying review altogether.

The clerk of court instructed me to correct the error and submit a "corrected petition". But that's not so easily done as when the court sent the box of copies back to me, someone here at the prison went out of their way to open the "legal mail" (which is prohibited) and maliciously destroyed the entire contents. Prison warden Steven Singer says that they are now conducting a formal investigation into the illegal destruction of this legal property, but I've been around here long enough to know how these so-called "investigators" always go... No matter that the officer delivering the legal mail even wrote a formal "incident report' to cover his own butt once he saw the over 2800 pages had been deliberately destroyed, and two lieutenants also verified this - it will still come out with the typical "the allegations of destruction of your legal property by FSP staff connot be substantiated"

This is just what we must deal with. The prison only too often goes out of its way to obstruct our ability to file appeals, even deliberately destroying our legal property and if we are lucky enough to get it to the court, then the courts go out of their way to deny review upon any irrelevant imperfection. Then if we do finally get a "corrected" petition filed so that the court will review the claims of innocence, the pro death penalty politically appointed judicial activists on the court will invent reason to deny relief anyways.

And yet I will keep banging my head against that proverbial brick wall, still wondering why. But at least I know I'm blessed with true friends.

Mike Lambrix 482053
Florida State Prison

Please check out my site
www.southerninjustice.net

Screw the Truth – Execute the Innocent

Don’t you just hate it when inconvenient truths get in the way of killing people? Where do people get off thinking that carrying out executions has anything to do with such concepts as “truth and justice”? When it comes down to it, capital punishment is not about whether someone is guilty or actually innocent – it’s about the “politics of death” and feeding our twisted societies primitive need for vengeance. When a brutal crime occurs, we need to know someone will be held accountable and we are driven to find great satisfaction in knowing the crime has been avenged. That’s just human nature, and whether or not the person we ultimately put to death for the crime actually committed the crime really is not even relevant. The only thing that really matters is that we get our proverbial ‘pound of flesh”

In fact, we don’t even want to know that we may have executed an innocent man. Such an inconvenient truth completely undermines our fundamental need to believe in our judicial system. If we are forced to confront the truth then our own support for the death penalty makes us personally complicit in this morally and legally justified act of murder carried out in our name.

But most of us are good people of moral character and we would find it troubling that an innocent person was put to death for a crime he did not commit. We really don’t need to be weighted down by that moral baggage and so we choose to learn form the ostrich – we stick our heads in the sand and pretend it didn’t happen.

But the tragic truth is that it does happen and ignoring this truth won’t make it go away. By choosing to ignore the imperfection of our judicial system, we do become personally responsible for the execution of an innocent person. This truth can not be denied as if only more people would stand up and speak out against a system that refuses to admit its own mistakes then those we entrust to prosecute questionable cases will be forced to understand that both as individuals and as a civilized society, even the execution of one innocent person is not acceptable.

This past week, renowned bestselling author John Grisham released his latest book, entitled “The confession”. In this fictional story, Grisham writes of a 19 year old Donte Drumm, who found himself accused of the brutal murder of a local pretty young cheerleader in the small town of Slone, Texas.

Donte Drumm insisted that he is innocent – but what does innocence have to do with it? Without any real evidence, Drumm went straight to Texas death row. As the years pass, Drumm’s desperate appeals proclaiming his innocence are denied by one court after another and 8 years later Drumm finds himself facing imminent execution. Only then does the real killer have a crisis of conscience and comes forward to confess. But nobody wants to hear it. As we know only too well, prosecutors absolutely never admit they were wrong, and our courts never admit that a person might be innocent. Although innocent, Drumm never had a chance, as in our judicial system the puppet master would much rather execute an innocent person than to admit even the possibility of error.

This is not the first time Grisham wrote a bestselling book that tells the story of an innocent man being wrongly convicted and condemned to death, only to have evidence substantiating innocence deliberately ignored by the courts and the injustice intentionally perpetuated by the very people (judges and prosecutors) we trust to protect the innocent.

In John Grisham’s 2006 work, “The Innocent Man” Grisham told the true story of Ron Williamson, an aspiring high school athlete with a promising career ahead of him – until he suddenly found himself charged with capital murder in the state of Oklahoma and quickly convicted and condemned to death in spite of his innocence.

Only years later was DNA evidence discovered that not only proved Williamson was innocent but also revealed the true killer. But nobody wanted to hear it and both the prosecutor and the courts refused to admit that they could have made such a mistake. The only possible explanation was that either the DNA evidence had to be wrong, or maybe Williamson acted with this other person. To silence these claims of innocence, the state became that much more determined to expedite Williamson’s execution.

This is not at all surprising. For too long now this is how the American judicial system protects itself from having its mistakes exposed…they simply create new court rules and laws to limit post conviction appeals so that the evidence of innocence cannot be heard. By denying the wrongfully convicted any chance of proving their innocence, the errors are forever concealed.

Most recently this was the case in Texas when Cameron Todd Willingham was put to death. Willingham was convicted and condemned to death for allegedly setting fire to his own home, killing his own two young daughters. There were no eyewitnesses or confessions – but the local, small Texas town fire Marshall conducted his own investigation and concluded that the fire was deliberately set. This fire Marshall had no actual training in arson investigations, but that didn’t stop him from testifying in court that there was no question that the house was deliberately set on fire. To seal Willingham’s fate, the state brought in a prisoner from the local county jail who testified that Willingham told him that he had indeed set the house on fire to kill his two young daughters and did it to strike back at his wife after they had an argument.

Willingham insisted that he was innocent and that he didn’t know how the fire actually started. He testified that after seeing the smoke, he tried to get into the house to save his children, but couldn’t. The jury refused to believe him and court after court rejected his claim of innocence.

Shortly before Willingham was executed, some of the top arson investigators in the country were brought in to re-examine the case. Virtually every one of these experts concluded that the local fire Marshall was wrong and that the evidence showed that the fire was started by an electrical short – it was a tragic accident, and Willingham was innocent of murder as no murder occurred.

But the Texas courts didn’t want to hear it and refused to allow the evidence to be heard. Willingham was executed in 2004. Only after his execution did the evidence of his innocence catch the attention of the media, and the question of whether Texas executed an innocent man started to be taken seriously.

As the controversy build, Texas governor Perry formed a panel of experts to finally review the evidence to determine whether Willingham was innocent. This “commission on forensic science” thoroughly studied the evidence and reached the inconvenient conclusion that Willingham was innocent – that the State of Texas had deliberately put an innocent man to death.

But it was an election year and Perry was running for re-election. In Texas the death penalty is all about politics and you cannot win an election by seeming soft on convicted murderers or admitting you made a mistake. Using the power of his office, shortly before the Texas “commission on forensic science” was to public ally release its report declaring Willingham innocent, Governor Perry abruptly fired the panel and appointed his own hand picked political insiders. Once again, the inconvenient truth of innocence was suppressed by the insidious politics of death.

In John Grisham’s book “The Confession” he writes that “death row is a nightmare for serial killers and ax murderers – but for an innocent man, it’s a life of mental torture that the human spirit is not equipped to survive”

I know only too well of the eternal mental anguish of being a condemned man, convicted and sentenced to death for a crime I did not commit. In my main website, www.southerninjustice.net my supporters have posted my entire case – complete trial transcripts, appeal briefs, etc and the evidence supporting my actual innocence.

In my recently published book “To Live and Die on Death Row” by C Michael Lambrix (available online for free at www.lulu.com) I graphically detail what life is like on death row, the never ending torment of being in solitary confinement for over 27 years and the relentless struggle to maintain my sanity as one court after another refuses to even hear the wealth of evidence substantiating my innocence, see also my secondary blog, www.doinglifeondeathrow.blogspot.com.

The past month my lawyers filed a “last ditch” appeal to the United States Supreme Court arguing specifically that they must order the lower courts to allow my evidence of innocence to be heard – or I will be executed for a crime I did not commit. But will the Supreme Court even listen? I can only hope they will. You can personally read this recently filed appeal at www.supremecourtinnocenceappeal.blogspot.com

But my faith in our judicial system to protect the innocent and even in the nature of humanity in general is suffering. If I have learned nothing else over the many years, it is that too many feel “screw the truth – just execute the innocent”

Please check out my website http://www.southerninjustice.net