Death Watch Journal — Saturday, September 23, 2017

As I write this I’m now down to less than two weeks to go before my scheduled execution. Contrary to his past practice of keeping two people at a time under a live death warrant, Governor Scott has not signed any new warrants and so I continue to have the entire death watch floor to myself.

Now that Hurricane Irma has blown through, things are finally getting back to “normal” and my lawyers are able to work on my case. Still, losing that first few weeks on a 34-day death warrant left us with less than three weeks to pull together what needs to be done.

As I previously wrote, though, fortunately we already had four appeals pending in various courts. I remain hopeful that those pending appeals will be met by the courts with favor. This Monday (Sept 25) the U.S. Supreme Court will address my one stronger appeal on the argument that contrary to what the Supreme Court instructed in numerous other cases, the lower federal courts in my case improperly denied any opportunity to address numerous claims that if addressed on their merits would support my innocence.

I’m hoping that at a minimum the Supreme Court will order a summary remand of that case (Lambrix vs Jones), as if they do, then this whole death watch thing will end and my case be sent back to the lower federal courts for full review on the merits of issues that should lead to my exoneration and release.

                                                                

But I don’t want to get my hopes up. I know only too well that the Supreme Court rarely grants review, much less relief in capital cases. They receive over 10,000 cases each year and of those less than 100 are granted review. The odds are significantly against me and in 34 years of dealing with this, nothing has ever gone my way. The only real surprise is that I wasn’t put to death many years ago.

That does not mean that I’m throwing in the towel. I will continue to fight this fight until I breathe my last breath. I can’t stop the state of Florida from killing me for a crime I didn’t commit. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t do all I can to stop them from doing that.

I wanted to do a hunger strike to protest this injustice, but after 12 days I decided to stop. I could have gone the distance, but it became clear that it was too hard on my family. They were worried, and they’re already going through enough, so when they visited this past Tuesday I let them know that I was ending my hunger strike.

The way I see it, I made my point, as I went 12 days without consuming anything but water. And according to the prison records, I lost 18 pounds. Actually, that was funny as on Thursday (Sept.21) when I hit the two-weeks-until-execution mark, they brought down the dark blue suit the state bought last year to kill me in, just to make sure it still fit. But when I tried the pants on, they fell to the floor. I lost at least two inches from the waist. And the shirt no longer fit either. I thought that was funny.

I was able to see my daughter for two days this past week, thanks to my sister bringing her. Those who know me know that my daughter Jennifer (who is now 38) is mentally disabled due to oxygen deprivation at birth. She is a “forever child” — she will  always have the mental capacity of a child (preteen), and doesn’t really understand that within just a few weeks I could be gone. In a way, I’m glad that she doesn’t really get it as I don’t want to see her hurt. But I also worry about who will be there for her once I’m gone.

But hopefully, it won’t come to that. I guess I’m just kind of down on all of this as, although this is not my first time facing execution, this time seems different and I’m not as confident that I will win another stay of execution. I actually do have numerous strong appeals, including those specifically addressing my actual innocence and arguing why they must allow DNA testing.

The problem is that the courts are openly hostile to anything we file. A few months ago the Florida Supreme Court went so far as to blatantly lie when addressing our request for DNA testing, denying it upon the false finding that DNA testing had already been done — it wasn’t.

                                                                  

    Fl Supreme Court

And the federal courts are even worse. The federal judges who control my case are outspoken proponents of the death penalty and have a long history of refusing to grant relief to capital petitioners under any circumstances. They’ve repeatedly lied about the case and there’s no pretense of objectivity or fairness. For that reason, I already know that anything we file in the lower federal courts will be summarily denied.

So all of this ultimately will come down to the U.S. Supreme Court and that won’t be until the very day of my scheduled execution. By that time next week we will have at least five separate appeals before the Supreme Court and they could just throw them all aside and not even look at them.

But my lawyers remain especially hopeful that the Supreme Court will take notice of the one issue addressing the illegally imposed death sentences. There’s no question that I was illegally sentenced to death as the jury votes in my case were not unanimous as they are now required to be.

The Florida Supreme Court recognized that I and all others who had a less than unanimous jury vote for death were illegally sentenced. But the FSC decided that they would only grant relief to those illegally sentenced after June 2002 — and that, because it would be too burdensome to grant relief to everyone, those sentenced prior to 2002 would not be granted relief.

This unprecedented “partial retroactivity” has created a big issue that most legal experts feel the U.S. Supreme Court will find unconstitutionally “arbitrary” and fundamentally unfair. The problem, however, is that it could take years before the Supreme Court decides they are ready to address the issue, and by then, I and many others will be long dead.

                                                                   

                                                                  
All we can do is wait and see. All of this is actually so much harder on my family and friends — they too must deal with the uncertainty of my fate, and I worry about those closest to me.

But at the same time, I know how blessed I am. There’s so many out there doing all they can to try to stop this machinery of death. Already, Governor Scott has received more signatures protesting my intended execution than any other, but even if God himself tried to plead with Governor Scott, it would fall on deaf ears as the only thing Governor Scott cares about is his campaign for a seat in the U.S. Senate in 2018, and executions win elections.

I am disappointed that the media has not shown any interest in the evidence substantiating my innocence. The death penalty is no longer a story to the media… apathy proves deadly.

But I’m doing alright and I thank those who sent me cards of prayer and support. All we can do is stay strong and keep the faith.

save-innocents.com

Press release Lambrix September 2017

---

Amidst tragedy of Hurricane Irma, Death Row Prisoner in Florida Declares Hunger Strike To Protest His Innocence

September 15, 2017

In an unprecedented move, Florida death row inmate Michael Lambrix has declared a "hunger strike" to protest his scheduled execution (October 5, 2017)
Michael Lambrix has consistently maintained his innocence in a case that remains essentially a highly circumstantial case (no eye witnesses, no physical or forensic evidence, no confession). Despite the case receiving international attention, his appeals for justice  in courts have been defeated for over 30 years.
The State funded agency CCRC South recently filed a strong and comprehensive "habeas petition" in the Florida Supreme Court specifically arguing that he must be allowed to present and be heard upon the wealth of evidence, including DNA testing (see  Lambrix v Jones, Case No SC17-1608)
Support in the US and around the world, as well as attorney Adam Tebrugge strongly believe that should Michael Lambrix lose his appeal again, he should then get a unique clemency hearing.
Mike Lambrix has said:

I have been forced into a non-win situation in which the vast resources of the State of Florida
are being employed to put me to death for a crime I am actually innocent of. I cannot stop anyone from executing me. But I am constitutionally entitled to protest against this injustice by declaring and maintaining a hunger strike as an expression of the free speech without governmental intrusion.

Photo: Rune Eraker
Mike Lambrix will be part of an exhibition "Noble is the Man"
at the Nobel Peace Prize center in Oslo, 2018

 Background information

. Summary of the case, key prior media interviews, and general campaign information:
  http://www.save-innocents.com/save-michael-lambrix.html

. To access Mike Lambrix story and his life advice to others:
  https://www.save-humanity.org

. For all detailed appellate actions filed in Lambrix's case and more information:
  www.southerninjustice.net

Sign the Petition here

 

Write/email the Governor:

WRITE TO THE GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA TO ASK FOR A CLEMENCY HEARING

PLEASE GRANT MICHAEL LAMBRIX A CLEMENCY HEARING
His last clemency hearing was over 30 years ago.
He never has had an opportunity to present his version of events as an integrated whole.
Should he be tried today, he would NOT be sentenced to death (the jury was not unanimous)..He twice refused offers of a plea-bargain, even though had he done so he would  since have been free.
Mike Lambrix has educated himself in prison and managed to make his experience valuable to others: He will be next year part of a major exhibition at the Nobel Peace Center in Norway, ("Noble is Man") and his writings, his advice to others on how to pursue legitimate successful lives are already part of a wider growing effort to educate and encourage the public, which needs to be supported.

Tel. : Governor Rick Scott: 850-488-7146
Email: Rick.scott@eog.myflorida.com
(Office of Governor Rick Scott State of Florida The Capitol 400 S. Monroe St. Tallahassee, FL 32399-000)

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi:
Tel 850-414-3300 Pam Bondi
Email: http://myfloridalegal.com/contact.nsf/contact?Open&Section=Attorney_General
Chief Financial Officer Jimmy Patronis:
Tel (850) 413-2850
Email: CFO.Patronis@MyFloridaCFO.com

Commissioner of Agriculture Adam Putnam
Tel 850-413 2850
Email adam.putnam@wustl.edu And info@adamputnam.com

 Contact
 Emmanuelle Purdon emmanuellepurdon[at]mac.com

Death Watch Journal (Part 36)

Chances are very likely that by the time this is posted, I will be back down on "death watch", once again counting down the final days before my scheduled execution. As those who read this blog regularly already know, on November 30, 2015 Florida governor Rick Scott signed an active death warrant against me, scheduling my execution for February 11, 2016.

But on February 2, 2016 the Florida Supreme Court entered a "temporary" stay of execution so that they could consider whether the US Supreme Court decision issued in January 2016 in Hurst v Florida had any impact on the legality of my own case.

The court issued an opinion on march 8, 2017, rejecting all issues raised. My lawyers filed a Motion for rehearing, arguing that the court made numerous significant factual errors that required rehearing. But on May 10 denied any further review and formally lifted my previously stay of execution. this means that at anytime now the governor can reschedule my execution, and he most likely will do so towards the end of the month.

However, this doesn't mean that I'm out of appeals, as there still are numerous appeals yet to be filed in the near future. But since the death penalty is more about the politics of death than the administration of justice, the state of Florida will try to stack the deck against me by rescheduling my execution before my lawyers can prepare and file these next appeals as the state knows that the politically corrupt courts are especially hostile towards any appeals that are filed while under active death warrant.

Specifically, the Florida Supreme Court's recent denial of relief will now be challenged in several ways. first, we will ask the US Supreme Court to review the Florida court ruling. And we do have a few strong points - most especially, the Florida Supreme Court denied the request for DNA testing that could substantiate mt consistently plead claim of innocence.

Let me say this..most people who read about what courts do assume that those on the courts possess a measure of moral integrity that compels the courts to at least tell the truth, especially when they are deciding whether to take someone's life.

                                                                       

But once again my case (and many others) illustrates the complete absence of integrity by our courts - I ask you this...how can justice ever hope to prevail when truth becomes irrelevant?

For years now my lawyers have repeatedly sought DNA testing of evidence that could prove my claim of innocence. At first, the state claimed that there was no evidence to be tested, but when that proved to be a lie, they switched to argue that since no blood was found on the evidence, no DNA could possibly exist. Of course, that's not true, as skin cells also have DNA, especially if embedded in fabric, which is exactly what we argued.

Unable to get around this inconvenient truth, the Florida Supreme Court decided to just create their own lie - in the March 8, 2017 ruling, for the first time the court declared that DNA testing had already been done, which is absolutely not true. And my lawyers filed a motion for rehearing, arguing that they made a material mistake, as no such DNA testing has ever been done. But even when a person's life is at stake, the Florida Supreme Court refused to correct this - they would rather kill a person on a lie they created than admit they were wrong.

So, now we will appeal their ruling to the Federal courts and hope that they will have the integrity to intervene when they see that the Florida Supreme Court's decision is based on an undeniable false finding.

My lawyers will also be pursuing an appeal to the US Supreme Court challenging the March 15, 2017 denial of my actual innocence appeals. Again, to deny relief, the lower federal court (a judge known for his extreme pro-death penalty stance) simply lied to deny relief and the ends justify the means.

In that case, my lawyers presented numerous specifically plead claims of substantial evidence that have never been addressed by any state or federal court because my original "initial-review" lawyer failed to present them to the court, resulting in these claims (and evidence) substantiating my innocence being procedurally barred. But in 2017 the US Supreme Court announced a new rule of law that for the first time allowed procedurally barred claims to be raised heard by the federal court providing the petitioner can establish that the failure to be heard upon them would result in a manifest injustice.

But the Florida courts controlling Florida are comprised mostly of pro-death penalty conservatives and they use their control to block all death sentenced petitioners from being heard, and often they will deliberately lie to deny relief.

In my case, the judge declared that all my claims were previously addressed on the merits - which is absolutely not true. And not surprisingly, the Federal Court could not identify any prior court ruling that addressed these issues substantiating my innocence.

So, within the very near future we will appeal that to the Supreme Court, asking them to overturn the lower Federal Court's "clearly erroneous and objectively unreasonable" decision (based on the judge's deliberate lie).

Bottom line is that there are still numerous appeals we will yet pursue. But the state of Florida will stack the deck by scheduling my execution within the near future, and even though I do still have reason to hope that justice will prevail, I cannot have any faith in a judicial process governed by judges who repeatedly fabricate lies to deny relief and since they are the only ones who can overcome their own lies, truth can never hope to prevail.

Because most people are generally good people and try to do whats right, they need to believe that those we place in power to administer justice are moral and ethical. I don't think many people would support a legal system that is governed by judges who will lie to justify killing even one innocent person. But it's so much easier to ignore the truth than to lose faith in who we are as a society.

I may not be able to stop this corrupt system from killing me for a crime I'm innocent of, but I know this...I will fight this fight until I breathe my last breath.

Death Watch Journal (part 24)

It's been a full year now since my death warrant was signed, scheduling my execution for February 11, 2016. Against the odds, I'm still alive although my longterm fate remains uncertain. I was the 23rd death warrant signed by Governor Scott and the 22 before me were all executed...I am the first one to survive a death warrant under Governor Scott.

Being that I loosely subscribe to Christian values, although I make no secret for my contempt of the hypocrisy of contemporary organized religion and the way it has corrupted the fundamental values of true Christianity by promoting hate and intolerance in the name of God.

At times I wonder how deeply I might scar my own spiritual consciousness when I find myself praying that those who so quickly judge me be then judged by that same measure...could I be wrong when I do that? Or is that what true justice is all about?

It's been a difficult year and I've been incredibly blessed by my small group of loyal friends who have gone above and beyond the call of duty to keep my hope and strenght up. When I find myself wondering what true grace is, I find my answer in them and I certainly don't deserve to be blessed with that depth of genuine compassion they o generously extend. And I know only too well that they are my strength, that without that selfless support they've given, i would not have had the strenght to make it through the past year.

When I look back over the past year, what i realize is that this prolonged uncertainty of my fate has not only touched me deeply, but it has inflicted immeasurable pain upon those that care so deeply about me. I can see it in the faces of my family when they visit as they anxiously ask me for the latest updates and I can read it inthe letters of my closest friends as they try so hard to avoid that proverbial "elephant in the room", putting so much of themselves into trying to keep me positive and keep that hope alive, and yet I can feel pain, and that uncertainty that we all try to ignore.

But then there's the hope - and good reason for hope too. While in the larger context the death penalty in general seems to become less popular, here in Florida there's good reason to believe that it is on it's last leg and that any day now the Florida Supreme Court will effectively vacate the majority of the death sentences. (Note: After Mike wrote this blog post the Florida Supreme Court ruled, read it here: the Florida Supreme Court decision of December 22, 2016

and more info here )

 

As I write this blog, I feel confident that within the coming weeks my own death sentence will be thrown out. But at the same time, I cannot shake the reality that I am still under an active death warrant, and I am still next in line for execution. I'm caught between those two extremes and the prolonged uncertainty is itself a heavy weight that makes hope difficult.

I can't help but wonder whether many over there in society even give a moments thought to this punishment they've inflicted. I'd like to think that as a whole, we are a "civilized" society - that most people are "good" in nature even if all of us are still imperfect creatures.

But I'm troubled by the complete absence of debate specifically on how long any indvidual should remain under an active death warrant and be forced to endure that ever present threat of being put to death, I know only too well that there will be those relatively few who will not hesitate to say I alone am responsible - and if I have a problem with remaining under an active death warrant so long that all I need to do is waive my appeals and they'll gladly kill me tomorrow...and these are the same people who want to call the condemned "evil".

But what about the majority of others? Do they even give it a moments thought at all? Here in America we are a constitutional democracy and as such government power is limited to that which the majority allows. Maybe this is what they meant when someone once said "ignorance is bliss" as I don't think the majority even give it any thought - out of sight, out of mind". I'd like to think that I do try to keep up with the greater public debate on the death penalty but I cannot recall ever hearing any debate on just how long any person should remain under an active death warrant facing that imminent fear of death before it crosses that moral line and amounts to torture.

And then there is - that one word...torture. Funny thing about the way we too often define what is, or is not, "torture" is that it comes down to our own perspective. And if we as an individual or collective society are the ones imposing a particular punishment upon someone we feel is worthy of nothing less, then we conveniently insulate ourselves with that whole "the end justifies the means" mentality. My punishment is death and if keeping me under an active death warrant facing that imminent threat of death for a year, or even longer, is what it takes to inflict that punishment on me or any other, then it cannot possibly amount up to "torture" as its obviously necessary to accomplish that objective of inflicting death.

Not long ago I read a book called "Imagine Heaven" by John Burke and it has got me thinking a lot about these things. In this book it provided the accounts of many people who had "near death experiences" and found themselves peeking into the other side - a glimmer into Heaven, or for some, a reality check in hell. But what impressed me the most was that without exception, each person came away with the same truth...that what effects our spiritual conciousness the most is not so much the sins we've committed, but how our actions have impacted others.

                                                             

The pain we inflict upon others inevidibly becomes our own eternal pain. There are many who, without even knowing anything about the facts of my case (that evidence is readily available to substantiate my consistently pled claim of innocence, but the courts refuse to allow it to be fully heard on procedural grounds - please see. http://www.southerninjustice.net/ ) are only too ready to advocate any measure of pain they can inflict upon me. That is who they are. But there will always be those few who have only hate in their hearts.

I'd like to think that most would not condone a system that would keep any person under an active death warrant for over a year. Id like to think that the absence of opposition is the product of unawareness. I'd like to think that as a society, individually and collectively, we are better than that. But are we? I am still under an active death warrant.

Letter from Death Watch (part 8)

Another week already gone, and as I write this today there’s less than two weeks to go before my scheduled execution. It’s been a relatively quiet week and I smiled when the thought of “the calm before the storm” comes to mind, as I know that as we move into that final stretch it will pick up.

On Thursday they will elevate me to the next phase. Since my death warrant was signed on November 30, I’ve been on “phase II” but per protocol once I reach that last seven days prior to execution; things change. Right now I’m allowed to keep all my property in my cell and it’s not much different that regular death row confinement beyond the fact that the death watch cell is significantly larger.

Once I graduate to the next phase (phase I) they will remove all my property from my cell and post an officer just outside my cell 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He will have a forest green “death watch log” and record my every movement. This is similar to “suicide watch” and its sole purpose is to make sure that the condemned prisoner doesn’t deprive the state out of its intended execution by committing suicide. Once I graduate to the next stage even my lawyers will no longer be allowed regular visits in the death watch interview room, but will only be allowed to see me in the non-contact visitation area through glass. This ensures that even the lawyers cannot pass anything to the condemned prisoner.

It’s all about the methodical process designed to force the condemned to become a willing participant in his or her murder. I know from their perspective, this process is meticulously tuned to ensure that the intended execution goes by the book without unexpected interruption

But more so than anything else, what bothers me the most about this whole process is just how incredibly cold and calculated it is, as if those responsible have completely forgotten that they are taking a human life. It really is nothing less than the “machinery of death.” And I really do have to wonder just how much of their own humanity those responsible for carrying out this act of taking a human life must abandon as nothing about this process is “normal.”

Maybe that’s exactly the point… maybe they need this process themselves so that they can detach from the reality that they are killing a fellow human being. Maybe by becoming so fixated on each minute detail, it provides them that luxury of pushing aside the reality that they are killing another person.

                                                     

I suppose if that’s true, then it helps that most of those who are assigned to assist in this execution ritual have done it many times. One officer recently told me that he’s been down here for at least the last 25 executions. At some point, it probably gets easier. At some point they probably don’t even lose any sleep over it… it’s just a job. And that’s kind of scary.

At least I accomplished one small thing this week. In January this year when they killed Oscar Bolin as I was forced to remain in my death watch cell only feet away, I found out that they would not allow communion on the day of execution. Most Americans claim to be Christian and would find it offensive that a condemned prisoner would be denied communion when having his last spiritual visit.

When I realized that this was the case, I asked several people responsible for this process why they would not allow the condemned prisoner to take communion ~ which is unquestionably one of the fundamental tenets of any Christian faith. And other than allowing communion interfered with their last day protocol, nobody could give me an answer as to why. Apparently, nobody had ever questioned this before.

Unable to get any explanation at institutional level, I then brought this to the attention of my lawyers. Just by coincidence, my top lawyer Neil Dupree ( head of CCRC) was in Tallahassee to participate in budget conferences and in the same room as the FDOC Secretary Julie Jones.

As I understand it, Mr. Dupree took a moment to talk to Julie Jones and simply asked her why it was that condemned prisoners were not allowed to receive communion on execution day and apparently Ms. jones did not even know that this was not allowed and assured Mr. Dupree that she would look into it immediately.

Early the next morning the prisons Assistant Warden came down to death watch and discussed this issue with me, in a polite and respectful manner. Just that easily, the issue was resolved ~ I would be allowed to receive communion from the Catholic priest on the day of my scheduled execution. But I wonder whether those who face execution in the future will think to inquire as apparently I was the first to simply ask.

This past week I was kept busy by the lawyers as the various appeals were submitted to the courts. Since the Hurst v Florida decision was handed down from the U.S. Supreme Court on January 12 declaring Florida’s death penalty statute unconstitutional, many of the top lawyers have joined my legal team as now my own case will decide whether that court decision applies to everyone on death row, or maybe to no one  at all. Oral arguments before the Florida Supreme Court will be interesting. (If you missed these oral arguments you can pull them up at any time at http://www.wfsu.org/gavel2gavel/viewcase.php?eid=2314)

With all the attention of this Hurst v Florida issue, I’m increasingly worried that the lawyers are not pursuing my numerous other issues as aggressively. For one thing, I just don’t have any confidence that the Florida Supreme Court will rule favorably on this Hurst case. Of the seven justices on that court, most are former death penalty prosecutors themselves (they each are politically hand picked, so that’s not just a coincidence) and not even one of them opposes the death penalty. And this court has already sent at least 30 men to their execution since 2002 when the US Supreme Court first ruled this process was wrong. I just don’t see that court suddenly willing to do the right thing. What’s important to me is my long and consistently pled claim of innocence and that it continues to be argued before the Florida Supreme Court and in the Federal Courts. But with this attention on this Hurst issue, my claims that argue my innocence are being neglected and I’m not happy about that ~ and there’s not a damned thing I can do about that either.

Some time this next week the lawyers will file my appeal on the innocence claims in the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals. I also expect nothing from that court as my case was assigned to the three most extremely pro death penalty judges (Carnes, Hull, and Tjoulat), so the most I can hope for is that once those judges rubber stamp that federal denied (as they do all death row appeals) then we can try to get the US Supreme Court to grant review.

But the clock continues to count down and each day I’m that much closer to my death. It’s still a matter of days, but soon it will be a matter of hours.

Note: Michael Lambrix was granted an indefinite stay of execution on February 2, 2016.He has now been moved to a regular death row cell at Florida State Prison, while still being under warrant.

Anyone wanting to send a card or letter to Mike, please write to:

Michael Lambrix #482053
Florida State Prison G1204
7819 NW 228th street
Raiford Florida 32026-1100

Letter from Death Watch (part 7)

When the Governor first signed my death warrant on November 30, 2015 scheduling my execution for February 11, 2016, I had 73 days until they planned to kill me. As I write this , I’m now down to 18 days. To keep us occupied ~ if we were to go nuts awaiting our execution then they couldn’t kill us as the Supreme Court has said that violates the Eighth Amendment prohibition to execute a prisoner that has become “mentally incompetent” ~ they have installed a 40 inch flat screen television on the wall in front of cell one, which I watch regularly.

Funny thing though, as the days passed I have noticed that there are previews for more shows that I would really like to watch, but they won’t come on until after my scheduled execution and I find myself saying that it sucks as now I’m going to miss that show. For example, many years ago I faithfully watched every episode of the science fiction series “X-Files,” but then the series ended with a lot of unanswered questions.

Recently the Fox Network brought it back for a six show mini series to answer some of those questions we all waited so long to be resolved. And I was anxiously awaiting its return. However, it doesn’t begin until Sunday January 24th and then run for the next five consecutive weeks. But I only have less than 3 weeks to live so it created a dilemma ~ do I watch what I can and hope that my execution is put on hold until I’ve watched all 6 episodes, or do I just blow it off for now as I wouldn’t want to go to my grave left hanging to see how it all ends. 

More and more I’m confronting these dilemmas ~ finding myself making choices based on when my execution is scheduled. The other day I noticed that my toothpaste was getting low and normally, I would just buy another tube without a second thought. But instead I found myself contemplating whether what I had left might be stretched to last until February 11th as I didn’t want to waste the money buying a new tube, then be put to death and leave it wasted.

These are just a few of the examples of how even the smallest things that most wouldn’t give a second thought to will creep into mind and then I will find myself putting way too much thought into how that particular thing or event impacts my scheduled date with death.

                                                                    

Maybe that’s part of this deliberate process ~ to compel those awaiting their appointed date with death to be reminded that they intend to kill you every moment of every day until they do. Perhaps that “process” itself helps facilitate passivity in the condemned by instilling a sense of becoming part of that countdown, so that when the time does come, we will feel almost obligated to cooperate.

A few days ago the death watch supervisor came down and laid a brand new suit on the desk out in front of my cell. He has been assigned to this post for years and personally dealt with at least the last 30 executions ~ probably many more. In this environment, that wall of separation between prisoner and guard somewhat relaxes and there’s significantly more personal interaction if for no other reason but there’s no one else to talk to.

This supervisor (whom I’m deliberately not naming) exhibits a level of professionalism you very rarely see in the prison system. He deals with us in a fair and respectful manner, and takes good care of us. When our family and friends come for a visit, he will do what he can to make it easier on them. Often even introducing himself to our visitor and giving them his phone number in case they need to call if problems arise. When my mentally challenged daughter came to visit, he escorted her to the parking lot to make sure she got there alright. He is a model of professionalism balanced with that measure empathy towards those he interacts with that you just don’t expect from prison employees.

But when he brought that suit down, it made me realize just how much this job has taken from him. Most of us give no thought to how all this affects those who work here and interact with the condemned. They will spend months down here on death watch with us, knowing just as well as we do that with each day that passes we take one step closer to that date of our appointed death. How could all this not affect them too.

Yet he laid the bag containing the suit down on that desk and as if it was nothing more than getting a cup of water. He pulled the brand new suit from the bag and casually told me I needed to try it on to make sure it fits. I watched as he first took the white shirt from its plastic bag (George for men, size XL, short sleeves ~ long sleeves would obstruct their ability to insert the needles into my arms ~ with a neck of 18 inches). He unfolded the shirt, removing the store tags, then shook it out and passed it through the cell bars so that I could try it on.

As I obediently put this shirt on, he focused his attention on removing the suit from its protective bag. I noticed it was bought at the local JCPenney store. The tag said it was Stafford brand, made in Mexico, with a suggested retail price of $200. I commented about that ~ the prison would only allow a “last meal” limited to $40 , but they didn’t mind spending that much for a custom fitted suit to execute me in.

He passed the pants first and then the jacket through the bars and I put each on. They fit well. I even commented about how good I looked in the dark blue, almost black suit with the subtle charcoal pinstripes. And then I removed it and handed it back and it was returned to its protective bag and places in the closet where it would wait until it was time for me to put it on again ~ only the next time I put it on, they would kill me in it.

This whole process of trying on the suit they bought just to execute me in seemed so mundane; so normal. As if we went through this everyday. And I found myself wondering, how many times has he gone through this routine before and at what point did he reach that point in which having the condemned prisoner try on his execution suit become so routine?

On the legal front, the lawyers continue preparing and filing appeals based on the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision in Hurst v Florida. When that case first came out on February 12th I was somewhat skeptical, as I knew that it’s hard to convince the courts to retroactively apply new case law to older cases. (See, my essay “ Death by Default” posted January 28th at www.minutesbeforesix.com). However, after reading what the lawyers have filed I must admit that they make a very convincing argument as to why Hurst v Florida dictates that my death sentences be vacated and my execution stopped. Many other organizations are also submitting “Amicus” briefs in support, which is almost unheard of. Bottom line, there’s a good chance we can win this, but it will be close. The Florida Supreme Court will hold “oral arguments” on my case on Tuesday, February 2, 2016 which can be watched online at www.wfsu.org/gavel2gavel/

 

My Federal appeal arguing actual innocence also continues to be pursued in the Federal Courts. Anyone who wants to read the appeals that have been and will be filed can do so at www.southerninjustice.net. Hopefully, either the state or federal court will grant a stay of execution soon.

(Note: Indefinite stay of execution was granted on February 2, 2016)

The Mosquito

It's that time of year and especially here in Northern Florida we know to expect the onslaught of those micro winged demons that seemingly only exist to eagerly feed off our flesh. More often than not, they will lay in wait until we drift off to sleep, and only then descend down from the dark shadows.

Although we are now allowed a simple small plastic fan to elevate the heat and humidity of the semitropical summers, it still remains too hot to sleep under a blanket or even a sheet. With few exception, we each fall into our fit full sleep wearing nothing more then a pair of boxer shorts - some even choose to wear nothing at all. It's the humidity that makes these long summer months unbearable, and that humidity begins to climb in May then reaches its climax by July and through
August, into September.

Even after 30 years I'm not used to it. Some say that humans are like cockroaches, as we possess the ability to adapt to our environment and survive. I've even said it myself more than once, and for the most past it's true. Looking back to the young man I once was when i first came to Florida death row in the early spring of 1984, I know that I've adapted to this environment and found a way to survive even as too many others around me were broken and died. I am a survivor, although I remain uncertain as to whether that is a blessing or a curse as I know only too well that my misery and suffering will relentlessly continue as long as I still draw any breath and my reprieve will only come after I've drawn my last breath.

Lately I have found myself thinking a lot about death - my death. I suppose that's understandable given the fact that late last year I went through what we call "pre-warrant clemency" which is when the governor assigns the condemned man a lawyer and then they go through that predictable pretense of contemplating whether the condemned man is worthy of mercy and compassion by grant of clemency from the governor, sparing his life.

But in 30 years not even one Florida prisoner has had his life spared by a grant of clemency. It's all a deliberate pretense. Once this morbid charade has been played out, then your name is added to that growing list of those the governor will sign a death warrant on, scheduling your imminent execution. My pre-warrant clemency was submitted in early December, 2014 (click here to read the clemency petition) and it has been undoubtedly denied just as all are without even so much as a meaningful opportunity to present the evidence to be properly considered.

Florida has significantly increased the number of executions carried out in recent years as the current pro-death governor (Rick Scott) is determined to kill more prisoners than any governor in Florida ever has. And once the next execution is carried out, he will have accomplished that goal. There is little doubt that he will then proceed to far surpass it, as governor Scott will be in office until January 2019.

But executions in Florida are on a temporary hold pending review by the Supreme Court on whether the initial lethal injection drug (Midazolam) is sufficient to render the intended victim unconscious before the following two drugs are administered. Legally, if the condemned prisoner is not unconscious before the following two drugs are administered, intended to inflict death, then the prisoner will undoubtedly experience pain and that form of execution would constitute "cruel and
unusual punishment", which is prohibited under long standing Federal law.

A decision on that pending case will be rendered no later than the end of June. The prevailing consensus among legal experts is that the Supreme Court will reject this claim by a marginal 5 to 4 vote, finding that, absent proof that prison officials consciously intended to inflict pain, the inadvertent infliction of physical pain through the alleged failure to render the intended victim unconscious is not sufficient to establish an Eight Amendment violation.

Quite simple, a "botched" execution, no matter how horrid and no matter how much pain the condemned prisoner may have suffered, is not enough - there must be a subjective intent to inflict pain before it arises to that level of becoming a constitutionally intolerable infliction of "cruel and unusual punishment".

Once that issue is decided, it is anticipated that Florida will then again to proceed to carry out its record number of state-sanctioned executions, and as early as July the governor will again proceed to sign a record number of death warrants and I have every reason to believe that my own name is towards the top of that list and that in the foreseeable future (before the end of the year) I will once again be transferred to the Florida State Prison (where executions are carried out) and placed on death watch with no more then 4-5 weeks to go before the state of Florida will proceed to put me to death despite substantial evidence of my innocence.

These are the thought I struggle to escape as I lay on my bunk trying to sleep. But arguably May is the worst month of all, as it takes some time to adjust to the change of seasons. Just a few weeks ago it was almost freezing and I had to hide under a heavy wool blanket to sleep. But now the nights are both warm and humid and for the first time in months I find myself lying there long into the night wearing nothing but my boxer short as that small electric fan sends a gentle breeze my way and still I could not compel myself to sleep.

Then I heard it, that unmistakable buzzing of a small mosquito as it flew close to my head. In the darkness I could not see it, but the minute it would deliberately dive-bomb down around my head, perhaps deriving some sense of pleasure from inflicting that knowledge upon me that it intended to feed off my flesh and resistance would be futile.

Again and again I tried to swat this malicious winged beast from the air, but missed each time. It certainly was a crafty little devil, obviously able to avoid my best efforts and even enjoying this game it played as if biting me and drawing my blood was merely only a reward for a game well played.

Forcing me to anticipate that inevitable infliction was the true intent and instinctively this mosquito knew that tormenting its intended victim would inflict far more then that final act as it is that awareness of imminent infliction that outweighs that final, even merciful, act itself.

As I continued to do my very best to put a stop to this act of insane depravity that only something as evil as a winged beast from the very bowels of hell could inflict, I couldn't help but realize that what this mosquito was doing to me was no different than what the state of Florida planned to do - it wasn't enough to merely put me to death, as part of their ritual was to first make me aware that they intended to kill me and that before I would die, they would demand that I first suffer immense pain.

And as I thought these thoughts, I heard that buzzing once again and in that instant, I killed that beast. At least that mosquito would torment me no more.

Why We Slaughter Turkeys, and Other People Too

Most of us blissfully assume that animals don't have a soul and so there's no real debate on whether animals, such as the over 240 million turkeys that were put to
death this past month just to satisfy our appetite for that quintessential American holiday ritual known as the Thanksgiving feast, all went to Heaven or hell - I doubt anyone gave it too much thought at all as it was just a turkey, so who really cares?

But what if it was the family dog? Or how about our beloved cat? Many would then argue that there must be a special place in the afterlife for our furry friends that were so much part of our life that we considered them to be part of our family. Many will pay incredible amounts of money to even have their beloved pet cremated or buried and will argue without reservation that their Fiddo or Fluffy certainly did have a soul. It's all about our own emotional connection to that particular animal, and that's the sort of connection we just don't make with an anonymous turkey conveniently purchased at the local supermarket, already plucked and gutted and ready to throw into the oven and cooked until the moist flesh is ready to melt in our mouths.

Amidst all this holiday pageantry there's that other now traditional ritual each Thanksgiving in which both state governors and the President of the United States publically pardons a turkey, sparing it the fate of the butcher and rather than be condemned to be devoured at Thanksgiving, this one lucky bird will instead be sent to live the rest of its life on a farm. I watch this ritual every year and always wondered how it was that they picked that one particular bird from the hundreds of millions of others that faced all but certain deaths.

Did a farmer go out to the barn and just snatch up the first turkey he got his hands on and ship it to the president and that was it? What stroke of faith spared this one otherwise undistinguishable bird from the millions of others and made it somehow worthy of this act of grace? Perhaps there was more to the story....maybe unknown to us there was a top secret commission tucked away in the basement of the White House, serving at the discretion of President Obama, and it was their solemn task to search across the vast North American continent from coast to coast for verifiable stories of remarkable acts of extraordinary valor by otherwise unknown turkeys such as that unheard story about the young child that fell into the farm pond and would have surely died if not for that one turkey that raised all sorts of ruckus until the farmer realized that something was horribly wrong and followed the turkey back to that pond, arriving just in time to save his only son. Certainly that turkey would deserve a pardon.

Or perhaps, unbeknownst to all but that top secret commission deep down in the bowels of the White House, all turkeys are inherently evil and it is our moral obligation to slaughter them and feast off their flesh just as other cultures did with their enemies, such as the Mayas who conquered their neighboring tribes and then sacrificed their prisoners to their gods, eating their flesh just as we do the turkeys. Maybe these millions of turkeys were planning to overthrow the human race and this plot would have succeeded, if not for that one heroic turkey that risked life and limb to rat out the rest of the flock. By turning snitch, he earned immunity and this whole presidential pardon ritual is nothing more than yet another governmental conspiracy to perpetuate an image for the masses of sheep (i.e., average Americans) to blindly believe, allowing them to feel morally justified when they gather around that table and feed off that turkey flesh. 

Maybe Tom the turkey is actually part of the Taliban and this American thanksgiving ritual is an extension of this never-ending "war on terror" coordinated behind the scenes by Homeland Security. No, that can't be - this turkey slaughter began long before our beloved CIA created what we now call the Taliban. Oh - I know, it's got to be a communist plot, as we all know turkeys do live in what could be described as quasi-Siberian gulags and this certainly wouldn't be the first time that a former prisoner organized his other brethren to rise above their shackles and chains and overthrow society.

Now that i think about it, I do recall watching a program about poultry farms and how these seemingly innocent turkeys would gather in little groups they call "flocks" and can be heard clucking and gobbling amongst themselves in a language unknown to us. If that isn't proof enough that they must be plotting  against us, then think about this for a moment...why are all these turkeys white?
Myself, I'm a white guy and I must admit that I've been white my whole life. And so I know what happens when you get that many white guys in a group as it's our inherent nature to inevitably plot to take over the world and if we can do it then why not these hundreds of millions of nothing but white turkeys, raised on farms throughout the land by white rednecks?

Which brings us to the "people" equation in all of this. Now, I guess when it comes down to it I can't really swear under oath that I actually seen what I thought I saw when that big white turkey stood on that table as our even bigger black president proudly granted it a pardon, as his daughters looked on, but I want to say that I'm pretty sure that as the camera momentarily focused on the turkey I might have seen it ruffle its feathers and sort of wink, as if looking straight into my soul and sending me that message, telepathically laughing at me as unlike that turkey, we all knew I have no chance at being granted a pardon. And even that turkey knew that if it was a person, it wouldn't have any hope for a pardon, either.

The truth of the matter is just this simple - millions of turkeys must die to feed our appetite each Thanksgiving and this whole ritual we go through to get there is necessary as it just wouldn't be the same without the ritual ....and we got to kill a few people too as that's the American way.

No, these hundreds of millions of turkeys were not plotting to take over the world and those few turkeys that were granted pardons didn't perform any heroic acts to deserve that act of grace. But I'd like to think that these turkeys, and all living creatures, do have a soul as if they do perhaps there's still hope for humanity too.

As these turkeys were led away to their mass slaughter and this machinery of death brought about their demise, delivering their frozen flesh to the local supermarket so that the average American family could feast from their flesh, then discard their picked bones into the trash  without so much as another thought, I'd like to think that the soul of each of those turkeys rose above the horror inflicted upon their bodies and they now look down upon us without malice or the need for vengeance, but rather they bow their beaks in a silent moment of unified prayer that one day humanity will evolve beyond its need to kill. And maybe if enough turkeys pray for humanity, maybe one day we too will evolve into a species that is no longer driven by that need to kill and this ritual of death we so desire will be a page of past history.

But I doubt I'll be around to see it, as like all those turkeys, my days are now numbered and the state of Florida is already in the process of carrying out its own ritual of death. With what might be my last appeals exhausted, I'm now going through the "clemency" process, knowing only too well that at least here in Florida nobody has been granted clemency in over 30 years. Once they go through the pretense of clemency review, then my death warrant will be signed and my execution scheduled, and I proceed forward knowing that nobody has survived a death warrant in Florida in many year.

And most likely before the next turkey is again granted a pardon, I will be led into Florida's own slaughter house and laid out before those that gather to watch this ritual, metaphorically gathered to feed off my flesh. While convincing themselves that my death is morally justified, and some will even celebrate the successful execution, others will be hurt deeply by my passing. But in the end, society will not pass any longer at that moment of my death as they did at any other state-sanctioned killing. It is a necessary ritual and at the end of the day for the same reason we slaughter hundreds of millions of turkeys to feed off their flesh and appease our appetite, so too do we kill people by only too similar rituals and yet no matter how many might die, our appetite is never satisfied.

Michael Lambrix  #482053
Union Correctional Institution
7819 NW 228th street
Raiford, Florida 32026

Please sign Michael's Petition HERE
https://www.change.org/p/governor-rick-scott-please-spare-michael-lambrix-s-life

Did Florida execute yet another innocent man?

Once again, the state of Florida deliberately put a man to death by execution despite an unresolved claim of innocence. As has only become too common, the Florida courts simply refused to address the evidence supporting the claim that Robert Waterhouse was innocent before they too his life for a crime that Waterhouse may very well have been innocent off.

In January 1980 the nude body of Deborah Kammerer was found on the shore of Tampa Bay. It was obvious she died a violent death. But there was no eyewitness to the crime and nothing more than circumstantial evidence that perhaps she was in a bar the night before at the same time that Robert Waterhouse was there. The bartender claimed that Waterhouse talked to the victim and that they left the bar together. The policed immediately focused their investigation then on Waterhouse. He was taken into custody but never confessed to killing Deborah Kemmerer, only that he casually knew her from the bar. Police claimed that Waterhouse volunteered that he had experienced problems involving sexual activity, especially when drinking, and that he responded to his arrest by exclaiming that his life was over.

The police impounded Waterhouse’s car and claimed that a Liminol test revealed the presence of blood. The state got their expert to testify at trial that although they could not actually say that this blood was from the victim, it was generally consistent with the victim’s blood – and countless others. Several hairs were also found in Waterhouse’s vehicle and again the state produced an expert who told the jury although they could not prove it was the victims hair, it was consistent with her hair – and again, equally consistent with millions of other unknown people.

When Waterhouse was arrested in 1980 forensic DNA testing of blood and hair was not yet available. Such testing would have conclusively proven whether or not that blood and hair came from the victim. Years later when DNA became available and Florida adopted laws for allowing for DNA testing on earlier cases, Waterhouse was among the first who all but beat the courthouse doors down, demanding that this blood and hair be tested. Of course, the state of Florida fought tooth and nail to prevent this testing. Undoubtedly afraid that these DNA tests would prove that Waterhouse actually was innocent, the state lawyers advised the court that virtually all of that forensic evidence was “accidentally destroyed” due to a clerical error, even though applicable Florida law forbids the destruction of evidence in any capital case until the case becomes final and no further appeals can be pursued.

In May 2004 sixth Judicial Circuit Court judge R. Timothy Peters ordered a hearing on the state’s dubious claim that by coincidence virtually all of the forensic evidence that could have proven Waterhouse's innocent was destroyed. In this order Judge Peters specifically recognized that Waterhouse’s motion to compel DNA testing, which legally required a showing of innocence, was legally sufficient. But shortly following Judge Peter’s order for a hearing, the state prosecutor attempted to have Judge Peters removed and the hearing presided over by Judge Beach – the judge who had originally convicted and condemned Robert Waterhouse.

When judge Peters refused to step aside, the prosecutor filed an appeal to the Florida Supreme Court, asking that they stop Judge Peters from allowing any hearing on how and why all the evidence was destroyed, but the Florida Supreme court refused to stop the hearing. Although judge Peters was allowed to preside over the hearing, it was actually judge Beach who ultimately denied Waterhouse Waterhouse's appeal that that the destruction of the evidence violated his constitutional rights to a fair and meaningful opportunity to prove his innocence. In an unpublished order in October 2006 the Florida Supreme Court upheld the order rendered by Judge Beach. Why the Florida Supreme Court specifically ordered that its opinion denying his innocence claim not to be published, as all other decisions in capital cases are, remains a mystery – and the court will not explain its reasoning.

On January 4, 2012 Florida governor Rick Scott signed a death warrant against Waterhouse, scheduling his execution for February 16, 2012. Pursuant to Florida Rules of Criminal Procedures, only after a death warrant was signed were Waterhouse’s lawyers allowed to gain access to police and state agency files on the case. An ambiguity in one of the police reports compelled the lawyers to locate and talk to Leglio Sotolongo, who in the night of the crime worked as a doorman at the bar. To their surprise, Mr. Sotolongo remembered Robert Waterhouse and the events that took place that night of January 2, 1980, and he told them that he had told the police detective Cary Hitchcock that Waterhouse did not leave the bar that night with the victim Deborah Kammerer but rather had left with two men. Further, Mr. Sotolongo remembered that he also told detective Cary Hitchcock that the bartender Kyoe Ginn, who said she saw Waterhouse leave the bar with Deborah Kammerer was lying, as it would have been impossible for the bartender to actually see the door from where she was.

Under sworn oath, Mr. Sotolongo testified that rather than being interested in the truth, detective Hitchcock became angry and accused him and another bouncer (Leon Vasquez) of trying to help a murderer, even to the point of physical altercation in an attempt to coerce Mr. Sotolongo and Mr. Vasquez from telling that they had seen Waterhouse leave with two men and not the victim.

For over 30 years the police deliberately concealed this evidence and lied in police reports. When finally discovered that detective Hitchcock – who’s testimony was used to convict and condemn Waterhouse – had concealed Mr. Sotolongo’s statement and falsified police reports , the original trial concluded that since Mr. Sotolongo was not compelled to actively testify until over 30 years later, he was not a credible witness.

In a final appeal, Waterhouse’s lawyers attempted to stop the execution by arguing that execution of an inmate should be prohibited when the prisoner has maintained his innocence and it is shown that the state has destroyed evidence that may have proven his innocence. But once again, in a unanimous decision by the Florida Supreme Court, dated February 8, 2012, the court denied Waterhouse claims, denied relief and cleared the way for his execution.

Once again I am reminded of the public speech given by former Florida Supreme Court chief Justice Gerald Kogan shortly after his retirement in which he said” There is no question in my mind, and I can tell you this from having seen the dynamics of our criminal justice system over the years that I have been associated with it, as a prosecutor, defense attorney, trial judge, and Supreme Court Justice, that convinces me that we certainly have executed people who were, in fact, not guilty of the crime for which they have been executed”

America today remains the only western nation in the world that continues to use capital punishment, joining company with countries that America itself has long recognized as refusing to recognize basic human rights (Iran, North Korea, and China etc). With an average of well over 20,000 homicides occurring in America each year, and the vast majority of these convicted of murder having solid evidence of their guilt (such as eyewitnesses, forensic evidence, confessions etc) I ask you this – why is it that we see again and again those being put to death were convicted upon, what can fairly be described as, specious evidence, at best? Why is it that so many of those actually have substantial questions of actual innocence and evidence supporting their innocence, which the courts simply refuse to address and resolve? Shouldn’t there be a strict and inflexible rule of law that no person should be put to death if there is any question of whether they may be innocent? But contemporary, politically manipulated judicial systems have proven again and again that it lacks the moral character and ethical integrity required to protect the innocent from being executed.

Maybe everyone who claims to be innocent is not innocent, but without adequate safeguards to protect against the execution of the innocent by prohibiting the state from putting any person to death unless and until all questions of innocence are fully and fairly resolved, how can anyone say with any measure of moral certainty that we are not putting innocent people to death?

Michael Lambrix
#482053
Florida State Prison

Please check out my website http://www.southerninjustice.net

The Paradox of Hope.

Have you ever thought about the concept of hope? Recently, I have. Funny thing about hope is that it can sustain you through the most difficult of trials and tribulations, but at the same time its absence can cast you down into the depths of despair, even to the point of making death seem favorable.

Here on death row I’ve often said that I will hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. That sort of became my mantra of choice and for many years I found some strength in it. For those of us condemned to death our existence is like being trapped on a runaway rollercoaster on a perverted path through the bowels of hell. With each twist and turn our guts are ripped apart as with each appeal our hope is escalated - then free falls to the lowest of the depths when the courts deny relief. Yet again and again we go through it, each time desperately grasping the imaginary rails that hold us in for fear that the sudden drop at the end of the ride will irreparably crush our mental state of mind.

My own case is but a single sample of what we all go through. After over 27 years convicted and condemned to death for a crime I did not commit (see www.southerninjustice.net ) I had good reason to believe that I would finally be exonerated and released – that I would be “home” for Christmas, and my nightmare finally be brought to an end.

My hope had a seemingly strong foundation as a virtual wealth of evidence supporting my claim of innocence had been developed in recent years and I couldn’t imagine any scenario under which the courts could deny relief. But I really should have known better. After all these years, if I’ve learned nothing else, it is that the courts are far more interested in “the politics of death” than they are in the novel concept of truth and justice, and few people today can argue in good faith that our courts are only too willing to ignore evidence of innocence and execute the innocent (see previously posted blog “Screw the truth”)

So, why was I so surprised when first the Florida Supreme Court, and then, a few months later, the Federal appeals court, denied my appeal? Why is it that this time my tried and true mantra of ‘hope for the best but prepare for the worst” failed me?

Now, once again I am forced to confront the probability that I will be executed and that nobody really cares whether I’m innocent or not. I’m sure that my dear friends will be upset – but nobody in the “justice” system cares. Only too often the courts deliberately turn a blind eye to evidence of innocence as they side with the State sanctioned serial killers to trust twist the truth around to meet their own agenda of carrying out an execution by any means necessary. And regardless of the fact that we see this again, our society chooses to ignore the inconvenient truth of how immoral, unethical and corrupt the American justice system has become.

I am angry at all of this. It is fundamentally unfair and as traumatic as being the victim of a violent rape – they raped me of justice. My dictionary tells me that “hope” is “a feeling that what is wanted will happen”, desire accompanied by expectation, and that “hopeless” is defined as “having no expectations of, or showing a sign of, a favorable outcome”. In a word I recognize that I have become ‘despondent”, which my dictionary defines as “utter loss of hope…implies such despair as makes one resort to extreme measure” (i.e. suicide) Hmm..That’s a familiar word – “suicide”, and not at all uncommon in my world where our hopes are often so deliberately crushed and the condemned do resort to that “extreme measure” of suicide.

I have actually contemplated suicide before. Once when my marriage was over and again when I was first convicted of this fabricated crime of alleged “premeditated” murder. Both times I could not follow trough and now I know that suicide is not something I could do so that simply is not an available option for me.

But at the same time I now struggle with the reality that I cannot win – that no matter how compelling the evidence of my innocence may be, truth and justice can never prevail before a judicial system that itself is completely corrupt to its own core. The cowards on the courts have neither the moral character nor the political courage to do the right thing and throw out a conviction that is now over a quarter century old.

Lately I find myself thinking about philosophical arguments I read years ago, such as Plato’s account of the Athenian philosopher Socrates being condemned to death by a politically corrupt tribunal. Plato tells of how Socrates faithful friend Crito stood by Socrates side, imploring Socrates to allow them to delay his execution in the hopes that after the emotional circumstances that led to his condemnation died down, they could appeal for a pardon. But Socrates accepted his fate and told Crito that although his heart was in the right place and he understood that his friends meant well in wanting to delay his execution, but, Socrates said “I am right in not doing this, for I do not think that I should gain anything by drinking the poison a little later; I should be sparing and saving a life which is already gone; I would only laugh at myself for this”

The words Socrates spoke so long ago still ring true today. I know that many of those who oppose the death penalty - and many of us here on death row - find it offensive and even a betrayal when someone “voluntarily” waives his appeals and seeks to expedite his won execution, which for all purposes amounts to a state sanctioned form of suicide.

But what of those of us who have already been through the appeals process again and again? And have been denied relief to the point where there is no hope left of getting relief? If we were to decide that enough is enough, and accept the inevitability of our own fate and simply choose not to pursue any further appellate review, then is it really fair to judge us as cowards and traitors to the cause, such as those are labeled when they decide to forego appeals altogether and “volunteer” to be executed?

Would I really be so wrong to accept the inevitability of my own fate and invite an expedited end to this nightmare by simply refusing to forego any further appeals, knowing that with the recent denial of my innocence appeal, my fate has now been sealed and all that really remains is delaying the inevitable at the expense of prolonging my own suffering?

I do not have a “death wish”. But neither do I have any desire to prolong my misery and suffering when I now know that my execution has become inevitable. As Socrates told his friend Crito: “What do I have to gain by delaying the inevitable but to make a fool of myself?” Like Socrates, I am blessed with a small group of dear friends who would be deeply hurt by my death, and their heartfelt desire to prolong my fate is genuine – but they are not the ones who must sit in this cage while the blanket of hopelessness and despair slowly suffocates the essence of life from me.

Such is the paradox of hope. For many years hope has sustained me as I had faith in our legal system to ultimately do the right thing. My hope and fate were my strength, generously sustained by my small circle of dear friends. But now I simply cannot find even a thread of hope left to cling on to and I find myself overwhelmed by the vacuum left behind – hopelessness.

But I find myself now struggling with the thought that increasingly haunt me. Even assuming that my fate is now inevitable, if I were to accept and embrace that finality would I be betraying the friends who stood by me and suffered through all of this? My death would bring an end to my nightmare but it would also bring pain to those who care about me. Would I be betraying their own loyalty and perseverance if I were to decide to forego any further appeals and allow the state to put me to death?

There are no easy answers. Perhaps I could believe in a merciful God, I would be blessed to simply die in my sleep and never again have to wake up to tomorrow and all these problems would be so easily solved as who could blame me of I died of natural causes tonight? But the God I believe in is not a merciful God – if he was, then he would not allow those who stand in judgment in our courts to pervert justice as they do.

So, I now struggle with this and pray that my nightmare will soon end. I no longer have the strength to hope for the best, but can only accept the worst. Soon I will have to make a tough decision and even now I don’t know what it will be. But I know that I have fought a good fight against the evil tyrant that is our legal system, and I know that I am now exhausted and even broken. Hopeless is now all that remains, with the only hope now left being the hope that my nightmare will soon come to an end.

Vengeance is Mine, Saith the Law

Last week Florida's Governor Charlie Crist signed a "death warrant" on Paul Beasley Johnson, scheduling his execution for Wednesday November 4, 2009 at 6:00 PM. In Florida, all executions are carried out at Florida State Prison near Starke, Florida. Immediately upon signing this death warrant Paul was transferred from the main death row unit at Union Correctional Institution in Raiford to the maximum security Florida State Prison in the adjacent county of Bradford. In actuality these two prisons are practically side by side in the rural area outside of Starke, along Highway 16, separated only by a creek they call "new River", which coincidentally is also the county line separating Union County from Bradford County. From the window of the death row unit at Union Correctional i can look in the distance and actually see the imposing structure of Florida State Prison. But it's a sight I don't particularly care to see and don't make a habit of looking out to.

In 1981 Paul had killed a cop in Polk County, Florida (between Tampa and Orlando) as well as two others while wasted on the drug "crystal meth". At the time I lived in the area and am familiar with how the relatively small and rural farming communities there in Polk County had responded with outrage. It wasn't long before that incident that this same rural area was virtually terrorized by what was known as the "ski-mask" gang - one of the ringleaders of that, Daniel Thomas, was already put to death in Florida's electric chair in April, 1986. But the community didn't forget and in these farming towns the support for the death penalty is extremely high.

Anyone who wants to see how "justice" was served in Polk County back during that time need only read Barden v.Wainwright, 477 U.S. 168 (1986) in which the Supreme Court addressed the facts of extreme prosecutional misconduct and judicial bias when Willie Barden was accused of a brutal crime in the same area. Barden, known to us as "Shargo", was executed in March, 1988 despite substantial evidence of actual innocence and what numerous Supreme Court Justices characterized as extremely prejudicial prosecural misconduct comparable to that fictionally depicted in "To kill a mocking bird".

In Paul's case, he never pled innocence. But the factual circumstances still warrant questioning the conviction and imposition of the ultimate punishment. There's no question that at the time of these murders Paul was wasted on a powerful drug commonly called "crystal meth", which if and when used to the extreme, such as in Paul's case, is known to cause psychotic and even violent paranoia and render the person's actions involuntary. So, the real question comes down to whether Paul actually intended to commit any act of violence resulting in these tragic deaths.

At trial, Paul's specific defense was insanity and the question came down to whether Paul could tell the difference between right and wrong at the time of the crime, and possessed the mental capacity to form intent to commit the crime. The evidence, including numerous expert witnesses, testified that given the drugs that Paul was under and what many others witnessed in his behaviour, Paul was by definition "insane" and not responsible for his actions at the time.

Do we deliberately convict and condemn those who are insane? Under applicable law, we do not. Numerous Supreme Court cases consistently prohibit the execution of any person who is mentally incompetent or insane. In Ford v. Wainwright, 477 U.S. 399 (1986) the Supreme Court defined this as a person "whose mental illness prevents him from comprehending the reasons for the penalty of death"

But when a defendant attempts to argue "insanity" as a defense then the burden of proving that he was actually "insane" at the time of the crime is on the defendant, and ultimately it is up to the jury to decide whether or not to ind him "not guilty" by reason of insanity. See Leland v. Oregon, 343 U,S. 790 (1952). With 3 victims - including a police officer, the jury was hardly sympathetic to Paul's argument and evidence that he had 'voluntarily" ingested massive amounts of crystal meth to the point of having an involuntary psychotic episode rendering him legally insane and thus not responsible for his actions. The jury rejected this insanity defense and sent him to death row.

That same year that Paul suffered his own drug induced psychotic breakdown resulting in the deaths of three people, the entire country was already outraged at the concept of an insanity defense as just a few months earlier the now infamous John Hinkley deliberately stalked, then shot, President Ronald Reagan on a sidewalk in Washington DC. At the same time Hinkley shot also several others, including a police officer, a secret service agent providing security for the President, and press secretary James Brady, who has since remained paralyzed.

But unlike Paul Johnson, John Hinkley came from a wealthy family and they quickly spent millions of dollars to hire the best lawyers and expert witnesses. Hinkley stood trial despite the fact that his crime was actually caught on camera with quite literally millions of people watching him gunning down the president and at least three others.

Money makes all the difference despite the overwhelming evidence against John Winkley, the jury in his case found him "not guilty" by reason of insanity. But Hinkley's insanity was not caused by toxic levels of alcohol or drugs - rather, Hinkley claimed that he was "intoxicated" to the point of psychosis by an even stronger influence - love. Hinkley convinced the jury that because of his "unrequited love" for actress Jodie Foster after seeing her portrait as a child prostitute in the movie "Taxi driver". Hinkley argued that to prove his love for Jodie Foster, he had to shoot the President and anyone else who got in his way.

But when Paul went to trial he was just another poor man defended by an overworked and underpaid court appointed lawyer. And thanks to Hinkley's widely ridiculed insanity defense, any jury at the time would be extremely skeptical of any "insanity" defense. So, it was no surprise that unlike John Hinkley, Paul Johnson was convicted and quickly condemned to death.

The irony of all this is that I've known Paul Johnson personally for over 20 years and I can tell you that Paul would be the first one to tell you that he should be held accountable for these deaths. In the 26 years that I've been on death row among the "cold blooded killers" and what society calls the worst of the worst psychopaths, there's probably not more than 5 guys who I would welcome into my house without reservation and sleep soundly through the night...Paul Johnson is without any question at the top of the list.

Since coming to Florida's death row Paul has now become a completely different man. No longer living his life with toxic levels of hard drugs, Paul has become a genuine Christian, who lives a life of moral values. In all the years that I have known Paul I never even once hears a single person say anything negative about him, nor have I ever seen or heard Paul engage in the games that are only too common around here. Quite simply, you just couldn't find a better man to live around and be blessed to call him your friend.

But now they want to kill him for an isolated act of violence brought about when he was under the influence of drugs almost 30 years ago. The state of Florida wants to put him to death for who he was a lifetime ago, deliberately taking the life of the man he is today.

I realize that there are many who would argue that Paul must be held accountable for the lives that he took. Anyone who actually knows Paul would know that he possesses genuine remorse for what he did and has often argued that he should be held accountable. But can anyone truly say that Paul falls into that category of the "worst of the worst" and that society would have anything to gain by now taking his life?

It is at times like this that I struggle with this concept of "justice" so commonly practiced by what we dare call a "civilized" society. What is "justice" anyway? When I look into my dictionary it says that justice is "the upholding of what is just, especially fair treatment and due reward in accordance with honor" and "the principle of moral rightfullness and equity"

I do understand that as a civilized society we must hold those who commit a crime accountable, or our society would quickly descend into chaos. But I also understand that there is a substantial difference between administering justice and inflicting vengeance and that's what this is really all about - vengeance. This is about that dark and destructive need to exact vindictive revenge, not administering justice.

My dictionary defines "revenge" as "something done in vengeance, a retaliatory measure; a desire for revenge and vindictiveness" Then, when I turn a few pages over to the word "vindictiveness", I find that it is defined as "disposed to seek revenge, marked by or resulting from a desire to hurt, spiteful"

Under these objective definitions of the English language, Paul's now imminent execution is not about administering justice, but inflicting vengeance. And by doing so, our so-called "civilized" society becomes the very monster we say we seek to slay.

I can only ask you to pray for Paul and let him know that he is not alone. I can tell you this - even as Paul faces his own death at the hands of those consumed by hate and vengeance, I know without doubt that Paul will be on his own knees praying for them and accepting his own fate even if I cannot, like so many others. If Paul is executed by the state of Florida on Wednesday November 4 then his death will forever take a part of all of us and without the man he is today among us, as a society through his death we will all become something less.

Michael Lambrix

NOTE: on October 28, 2009 Paul Johnson received a stay of execution in order to
consider significant issues raised in Claim 1 of this appeal concerning
prosecutodal misconduct.