Letter from Mike from Death Watch (Part II)

Mike thanks everybody who has sent him cards, letters of support, prayers and wishes! He much appreciates, and is deeply touched by,  any way you have reached out to him and feels blessed that so many people care about him. Any messages and comments you may want to leave here will be sent to Mike too.

Mike asks  you to read the page his son Cary Michael Lambrix has created, his son is trying to raise the money needed to visit his dad for the last time..


I’m now on my second week of my death watch experience with about two months yet to go until my scheduled execution. With the process they apply in determining whose death warrant to sign they had to know by signing my death warrant on November 30th and scheduling my execution for 6:00 pm on February 11, 2016 that it would mean that I will be down here on death watch through the Christmas and New Year’s Holidays. Obviously, Governor Scott and his staff had to know that both State and Federal Courts will be out for the holidays. So, why would they sign a death warrant at this time?

You know it really doesn’t bother me personally as I wasn’t exactly expecting much of a Christmas anyways. If Governor Scott and his staff thought by putting me under an active death warrant over the holidays would somehow inflict that added measure of misery to a man they intend to kill, then they are wrong as it won’t really bother me. In some ways, I will actually have a better Christmas now.

But what does bother me is how this will affect my family and friends, all of whom did nothing to deserve this. Talk about a heart of stone and the Grinch that stole Christmas. I’ll bet Governor Scott gave absolutely no thought whatsoever to the pain he inflicted upon my parents and children and sisters and my dearest friends who give so much of themselves to support me. Nobody ever thinks about how all of this affects those closest to the condemned.

The last time I was on death watch in late 1988 it was so much easier as I had no one. ( Read about Mike's stay of execution in 1988) My family and I were estranged and I had no close friends. Even my three children were then too young to know what was going on. But in the years since then I’ve grown close to my mother and stepfather, who for many years now visit regularly. And my kids are now grown with kids of their own. And I’m truly blessed with my small group of close friends who so selflessly give so much of themselves to be there for me. Already this is causing them so much pain.

Now I find myself wishing that I were alone again as I don’t want them to have to go through all of this. Last week when my parents came to visit for the first time since my execution date was scheduled, I could see the pain in my mother’s eyes and how much this was taking out of her. My sisters came with them. I had not seen them in a few years and I could only watch helplessly as they struggled to fight back the tears and I just wanted to hug them through it. Once I went on death watch I was no longer allowed regular visits, but all visits are now non-contact (through glass). I tried to joke around and make them laugh, but I know they saw right through me… tears of a clown. I struggle with that conflict ~ I want so much to see them, but I don’t want them to be hurt by what is yet to come. Everybody keeps asking me how I’m doing but it’s how they’re doing that concerns me the most. 

When that visit ended I was escorted back to the death watch floor and before putting me back in my solitary cell they measured me for the execution suit. You gotta love the irony of that ~ for 32 years I had to wear whatever clothes they would provide, only too often baggy pants and bright orange shirts. But now that they intend to kill me they want to buy me a nice new suit that will be custom tailored to fit me. I guess it’s sort of like dressing a turkey up for the holiday feast… I got to look good when they lay me out on the gurney in front of the witnesses. It just wouldn’t be proper to kill a man while he is dressed in baggy pants and a bright orange shirt. When it comes down to it, it's all about the ritual, and perhaps that’s the most tragic commentary of all ~ they’ve carried out this ritual of death so many times that they’ve perfected every detail and nothing is left to chance.

I once read about how during the Holocaust, the Nazi's went to great pains to methodically record every detail of their process. The records were so meticulous that they even kept records of the records. And it’s the same on death watch here, as an officer is assigned to the cell front whose only job is to meticulously record in a green log book, marked with my own name, everything I do. Even as I write this he sits not more than ten feet away with that log book in his hands undoubtedly writing down that I am sitting at my small desk writing. It’s not personal ~ it’s merely his job. If he didn’t do it, someone else would have to.

The truth of the matter s that I’ve never been treated better by the prison staff than I am now. From the warden on down, there’s not even so much as a suggestion of malice in any of them. Given my previous experience on death watch years ago, I expected some to deliberately go out of their way to taunt us as they did back then, but this warden has no tolerance for such misconduct.

The cell I’m now in is huge and took sometime to get used to. I don’t know what the exact measurements are but I’d guess that it’s about eight foot by 12 foot, give or take a few inches. As long as I remain on “Phase II” my personal property stays in the cell with me, including my T.V. and MP3. My music continues to be my escape from all else around me and it’s a comfort to have.

A few night after I was moved down to death watch the light in my cell went out. Not long after that the toilet clogged up. I’m told that this particular cell had not been used in a while as the Governor usually only has one person under an active death warrant at a time. There’s only three cells down here and Oscar Bolin is in the first cell about 10 feet away. Both the light switch and the toilet were fixed the next morning.

When I read about how the Nazi’s killed the Jews at their own infamous death camps, I recall how they would place the condemned prisoners in long lines that led to long buildings and they would be told that it was a shower. Presumably they had no idea they were actually being led to their deaths in industrial sized gas chambers and spared that agony of imminent death until that final moment when once secured in the the large chambers instead of a shower they were gassed. I wonder how many moments passed between the realization of imminent death and death itself?

But here in America we are far too civilized and humane to keep a condemned man in a state of ignorant bliss until that final moment. Instead, when Governor Scott signed my warrant on the morning of Monday November 30, 2015 and the warden then read my warrant to me, instructing me to then initial the death warrant as an acknowledgement that I received it, I was told that in precisely 73 days on the evening of Thursday February 11, 2016 I would be led into the execution chamber and then strapped into a gurney facing a glass window. At least 20 witnesses will watch as they insert I.V. tubes in both of my arms and upon signal by the warden, they will then pump that lethal cocktail of drugs into my arms and stand around until they pronounce me dead. 

The Nazi’s went to great lengths to spare those condemned to death the knowledge that they would soon die. Their machine of death was as cold and calculating as any ever devised by the mind of man at his most evil. But here in America we don’t engage in any such pretense. Rather, we want those we condemn to death to know it’s coming and the process is meticulously structured in such as a way that not even for a moment  throughout the prolonged “death watch” process will the condemned escape the reality that the clock on the wall is counting down his last days, hours, and then minutes. The agony of imminent death will not be escaped . And we call that humane - Mike

Michael Lambrix #482053
Florida State Prison Q2301
7819 NW 228th street
Raiford  Florida 32026-1100